Friday, February 23, 2007

Going The Distance, Part II

Also I’m coming close to the end of my time here. Been quite busy at work, partly the reason for lack of posting. The other contributing factor is that simply, and sadly, I’m less concerned with the larger picture here, and more concerned with getting my work straightened out and wrapped up.

I’m less vested. That can be expected, partly as I’m trying to distance myself from this place and avoid thinking about actually leaving. Subconsciously, I think that it’ll be easier to leave all the wonderful folks I’ve met and become dear friends with that way. But, since I haven’t finalized my departure, it hasn’t really set in yet. I kind of don’t want it to set in, that realization that I’m leaving and moving on. I’d rather avoid that moment, and just find myself all of the sudden not here.

I’m ready to leave, at least for now and for a while. (At lunch today we were trying to figure out a term for “post-burnout”…) As for the work close-down things, that’s all old-hat now, as we’ve been through it a few time. But this time, there is a slightly different twist. I know I’m leaving. One of the cooks, all of whom I’ve become good friends with (we’re all around the same age and speak a common language comfortably), asked me if/when I was leaving. His older brother later asked me the same thing. Though we talked about it a bit, and that it was certain, I told them I didn’t really want to talk about it. As I’m often their venting point, I feel like I’m abandoning them. More than that, we all know that it’s likely a permanent goodbye, unlike the friends back home or in the West, who I’ll always have at least a chance to visit again.

But as I told them, I still don’t haven’t booked a ticket out of this place. And I’ll need that to go the distance.

6 comments:

pumuckl said...

I happen to go through similar feelings too.... especially the one about the Afghan colleagues that became friends... and you do feel like just leaving them behind :-(

Q. A. Shah said...

Pumuckl,
Are you coming near the end of your time here too? (I saw the post about the interview, so figured as much.)

Most of my Afghan colleagues, I've kept a work relationship with, but a few have become dear friends. Marley's "Chances Are" has been on heavy rotation.

So, are you coming up to Kabul in the next few weeks? If so, it would be cool to finally meet before I head out...q

pumuckl said...

I'll try to come to kabul indeed, there are several friends even though I never spent much time there...

will let you know! putting a face to the thoughts :-)

Q. A. Shah said...

Cool. Though, I only have about 3 more weeks in this place. I've set my date.

So if you come down to Kabul before then we should figure out a way to meet up.

ms. daisy said...

wait.

wait wait wait.

Are you coming back to the States? or going on to another foreign location?

Q. A. Shah said...

Back to the States for now. Take the bar exam again. Figure out what's next.

Thinking a west coast trip will be sometime in the end of April or May...q