Kabulog

I'm out...

2007-03-24T03:21:00.000+04:30

...will be some updates to flickr on the last of the Kabul photos, and others.

Thanks again everyone.

Exit Rituals

2007-03-18T22:07:00.000+04:30

Nearly there. A day and "a wakey," as some (yes, expats, and yes, the military background type) say around here.

There have been the usual rituals. Luckily, I've managed to wiggle out of most of the 'farewell dinner/events', except for one (my coworkers). And well, another, with the national staff on the project that has taken most of my time will be a simple kebab lunch. As many of my memorable days with them here (days stuck out at the power plant because of some issue) have included newspaper wrapped kebabs, I like that it's how i'll be exiting.

The other ritual today was a burning. Got to watch a year and a half go up in flames. OK, I'll stop with the melodramatic metaphors. So cleaned up my room/office and got rid of a lot of documents.

Other than that, it's been busy at work. Handing out "certificates" making it "official" that I've done my job and transitioned the work to the GoA. And to be fair, they are ready to do the work. Whether "ready" is enough to do the work is another question.

As for the blog, I'll soon stop posting here. I may continue a blog on Afghanistan, or push others to resurrect a group Afghanistan related blog, and ride their coattails (ahem, you all reading right now know who I'm talking about).

There may be a posting or two more, but as I travel home, and get home in a month, it'll be even less frequent posts.

Thank you all for reading. I hope this blog provided something of value to those who kept checking in. I wish you all the best.

Moreover, lets all wish this land and it's wonderful people all the best.

...q.a.

(Make/A) Sense of Things, Part I

2007-03-07T00:50:00.000+04:30

It’s been all about dispositions and moods and sentiments and atmospheres and getting a feel for things. That applies to more than just the weather, which has been completely up and down and all wonderful, but unsettled and unsettling. But finally the consensus (a really just a dire hope) is that winter has finally broken.

Though we all know what’s coming, and this past week, it really seems like it’s already come (see Pumukl’s round up, and Hamesha’ last post), my coworker, who has been in and out of the country since the fall of 2002, was finally saying that the mood has really shifted. It’s odd and disappointing to see how much he talks about how hopeful the mood was when he first came, and he was even still hopeful last year, even after the May riots, as he hoped that would be a wake up call. So far, it seems like it wasn’t.

As I’ve said before, the donor side talk/rhetoric seems to have been improving and seeming more realistic. But the reality of this place is catching up to them. And the mood of the common Afghans (from my very limited/skewed sampling) is shifting markedly more than it did in the past year, and in a different way. It’s like a worsening is a foregone conclusion and now people are just waiting for things to get worse before they can get better. It seems like the only question really is how worse that worse is. Our two cooks, who are brothers, were telling me, in a markedly melancholic and longing manner, about how peaceful their home village is in the summer, and wishing I could come see it.

What was obvious about the discussion, though me coming to see their village was a sincere desire on their part, is that it was really about the escapism to their old life there.

I’m surely conflating and projecting a lot of my own mood and feelings about leaving here on all that’s going on around me and the conversations I have. But there is a different sense of things going on here. I remember the conversations after the May riots, and the cooks and many others bemoaned the event and the reaction on the part of Afghans, calling them delinquents and looters and people just capitalizing on the event for their own ends and venting. But the riots in Jalalabad got no such treatment.

The only thing the younger cook/brother talked about was what happened. And the bombs dropped on the houses. And the people simply being exasperated by the whole situation. Hamesha had it right when he referenced a “Sophie’s Choice”. Much as when the Taliban first took Kabul, that was the situation I gather many Afghans felt themselves in. Though the choice may not be the same, nor the result, as I don’t think the Taliban will come any where close to capturing Kabul. It seems like the situation is the same, if not the sense of things on the part of many more Afghans I’ve talked to. The sense of hope and even fear seems to be gone. Just exasperation.

And with work, it’s been that way for me to. (How is that for a completely trivializing segue??...and by that, I mean trivializing the situation of my Afghan coworkers, in case anyone was confused.) But more things are being knocked out, and the new music I’ve gotten my hands on recently has helped.

(Make/A) Sense of Things, Part II

2007-03-07T00:43:00.000+04:30

So back to the most reliably consistent (speaking of quantity, definitely not quality here, folks) topic of this blog: what I’ve been listening to.

Go get some Anousheh Kahlili [myspace page here]. Came across her randomly as I was looking for shows that I can go see at the Black Cat and 9:30 when I get home. Going to shows being high on the list of things I’ve missed over the past year and a half. Adding to that list though, I’ll miss her show, as it’s celebrating Nau-Roz, the Persian New Year (also celebrated here in Afghanistan).

So it was the name that struck me (Persian/muslim/asian not being too common on the BC roster), and I dug her up and the headliner of that show. Her stuff is all piano singer/songwriter. And though the lyrics are a bit much, almost pedantic and overly verbose with adjectives and adverbs, when she does hit an image, it hits well. And though her songs on her first album just leave me wishing she’ll sing more choruses and stick to some more traditional song structures, as it’s really about her voice and choice of words that shine. Her voice is wonderful, as she’s got range and dexterity, and most over, great phrasing. Though her lyrics are a bit overwhelming, if not simply a bit much, she’s a master at delivering and phrasing them. Though they’re still just a bit too expository and encumbering, for me at least. More imagery, at least stronger imagery and less exposition would seal the deal for me on her.

Her first album, “Let the Ground Know Who’s Standing on Him”, which came out in ’04 wavers a bit in consistency, but her voice carries the whole thing, again, it’s striking, robust and beautiful. It’s been on heavy morning rotation. Especially as she’s a masterful and delicate piano player, and I believe I read she’s been classically trained, which seems to be the case. Nonetheless, her piano playing matches her singing on many fronts. She has two new tracks from a forthcoming album, available here for free.

Side-note: I also just found out that she’s Deep Dish’s vocalist on their last album. Which was great, but I just never picked up, and never dug out the vocalist, assuming she was just a generic House/Electronica singer with a heavily pitch-shifted and processed voice (which she was on that stuff, I believe, maybe just slightly processed and reverbed). She was the lead on their main single “Say Hello” which actually turns out to be a “hook” (though she doesn’t really use it as one) on one of her earlier works, “Ten Lives”.

So go get her last album, and definitely her new/free stuff, as the new album seems to show progression (though one track has a distinctly Fiona feel to it). So she’ll be another Norah (Anousheh even has recently done a Millenium Stage Show, which may mean much given the 365 performances there per year, but it’s where I first heard Norah), especially if the song lyrics get a bit less cumbersome, or at least one song gets a chorus, except I don’t think she’ll ever put out ‘Sunday-brunch’/’do-a-crossword’ music. She’s got too much to say and when she gets better at imagery she’ll be a force. And go see her show at the Cat on March 20th.

And of course, there’s the new Modest Mouse. New tracks have been “leaked” and can be found on the obvious sites, such as HypeMachine. Then there is the new El-P. And Adult Swim put up a new Def Jux sampler for free, and watch the new El-P video, it’s brilliant. Then there is the new Ted Leo. And finally, there is my regret that I’m not going to be home on March 20th to get the new drops, and will end up buying them in iTunes, and then again when I get home.

Make sense of that.

Going The Distance, Part I

2007-02-23T14:38:00.000+04:30

Since it’s a Friday, and we’re on lockdown again, I figured it’d be a good time to finally get around to an update on the blog.

So there has been a decent amount happening in this place. Kabul, as usual (well except for today), remains largely outside the fray. Most of the military activity has been in the usual trouble spots, and of course attacks have been increasing in Pakistan as well as that string of attacks in southwest Iran. So the instability seems to be increasing. Maybe it’s just a random confluence, or maybe it’s several factors and movements coalescing, specifically the Iranian influence expansion efforts, the Balochi independence movement, the Taliban resurgence, the Kashmiri fighters, Musharaf’s military efforts along the Af-Pak border and his efforts in Balochistan, and Al-Qaeda’s purported strengthening of camps and manpower in Waziristan.

So yeah, it’s a lot to keep up with, perhaps too much. My take is generally that any one of the factors is too small to seriously set things off, thus my dismissal of the Taliban resurgence as the major worry. What I do fear is the confluence and these factors/movements taking advantage of any one of them making a strong and hard push for their cause. And they all seem to be tied and talking and fluid in their associations and support.

Their aims, or rather ends, don’t particularly align, but their tactics perhaps do. In my, largely uninformed, opinion, it seems like all of these movements will benefit from greater instability in the region. The smaller movements, such as the Balochis, the Waziri Pashtoons, and the Kashmiris needing instability to break up the larger powers control of their regions, and Iran needing to break up the larger powers so they can exert their influence (they running into a paradox w/ Balochistan and their own internal insurgent and separatists). Then there all the talks of the West's, NATO's and the Donor Community's commitment to this place and talks about seeing this trough to the end this time. With Bush's commitment of more troops here, and the Canadians and the Brits wondering what to do with that and how to follow suit, at least the rhetoric sounds good.

So, basically, this area is confounding and perplexing as it’s always seems to be. Thus, to me, it’s as troublesome as it’s always been too. It seems like it’s all about who has the endurance to go the distance. And at the elevations in this part of the world, endurance is everything.

But more personally, our lockdown is because of the recent local politics in Kabul and Afghanistan. That recent legislation that garnered quite a bit of press, the one giving amnesty to former fighters/warlords/mujahideen from war crimes committed in the most recent fighting, is still a hot issue here, as Karzai said he wont support it. So some of the supporters are gathering for a rally/demonstration. Some 30,000-50,000 of them, according to various claims and estimates. (Post-event update: reduce the estimates by a factor of 10. Supposedly the rally speaches largely consisted of positive talk about how far along Afghanistan has come.)

They’re gathering in the Olympic stadium. There are supposedly riot police spread throughout the city. As I’m under lockdown, I have to just go by what I’ve heard. The city is eerily quiet for a Friday though. Usually after Friday Prayer, there are horns buzzing and cars screeching through the city. Not today. So far, I’ve only heard one car tap it’s horn a few times. That is surely a record for a Friday while I’ve been here.

But it’s warm (comparatively to the past few days…we had more snow) and sunny outside, another beautiful day in Kabul. (I’ll put up a few new pictures on the flickr page.) So, I’ll hopefully enjoy a quiet Friday in Kabul.

Going The Distance, Part II

2007-02-23T14:37:00.000+04:30

Also I’m coming close to the end of my time here. Been quite busy at work, partly the reason for lack of posting. The other contributing factor is that simply, and sadly, I’m less concerned with the larger picture here, and more concerned with getting my work straightened out and wrapped up.

I’m less vested. That can be expected, partly as I’m trying to distance myself from this place and avoid thinking about actually leaving. Subconsciously, I think that it’ll be easier to leave all the wonderful folks I’ve met and become dear friends with that way. But, since I haven’t finalized my departure, it hasn’t really set in yet. I kind of don’t want it to set in, that realization that I’m leaving and moving on. I’d rather avoid that moment, and just find myself all of the sudden not here.

I’m ready to leave, at least for now and for a while. (At lunch today we were trying to figure out a term for “post-burnout”…) As for the work close-down things, that’s all old-hat now, as we’ve been through it a few time. But this time, there is a slightly different twist. I know I’m leaving. One of the cooks, all of whom I’ve become good friends with (we’re all around the same age and speak a common language comfortably), asked me if/when I was leaving. His older brother later asked me the same thing. Though we talked about it a bit, and that it was certain, I told them I didn’t really want to talk about it. As I’m often their venting point, I feel like I’m abandoning them. More than that, we all know that it’s likely a permanent goodbye, unlike the friends back home or in the West, who I’ll always have at least a chance to visit again.

But as I told them, I still don’t haven’t booked a ticket out of this place. And I’ll need that to go the distance.

Gaining Traction

2007-01-23T22:58:00.000+04:30

That perspective, that things are gaining traction, came up briefly in the dinner conversation tonight. Ironically, the conversation took place at a restaurant that may be losing traction after being here since 2002…had a chance to talk to the guy who runs the restaurant after dinner and he was bemoaning that, but noted that his restaurant on the ISAF base was doing well, quite well. And that, in itself, may be a good indicator of what one recent thrust has been, towards more militarization…”more”, of course, being relative to the past 2-3 years (absent the escalating previous year) of relative calm.

There are several news items that also point to desperation. And I remember that being a common feeling among the expats last may, but this current desperation seems different. Back then, it was rooted in exhaustion and/or exasperation. A lot of it was negative and reeked of some neo-colonial patronizing attitude towards the protesters. But this time around, it seems a bit more sincere. At least I hope it is. The desperation is more of the desperate ‘what can we do now?’ attitude. And that may lead to some more positive policy changes, if, and hopefully, the attitude reaches the inner sanctums of the high-up’s expat compounds.

In the conversation, while a friend talked about the Taliban’s gaining traction, and rightly so, I talked about the changes that seem to be happening in the Afghan Gov’t’s attitude. He has a lot better tap on to common Afghan sentiment, I would expect, given who he works for. My links to common Afghan sentiment come from a very particularized, if not filtered perspective, I believe, or the news articles everyone reads. In many ways, the conversation could be simply characterized as a ‘fight or flight’ conversation, work contracts notwithstanding. Both attitudes seemed to be valid with equal amounts of evidence or justifications.

So you have many trends and movements gaining traction right now, during the typical winter lull. Everyone expects an interesting (perhaps not the best word choice there…a bit callous) spring. And though geographically, these movements are largely in opposite directions, one trying to move out from Kabul, and the others making tracks to Kabul, they both are largely for the same ends, a more complete control of this country. And with that race, with one finish line, either one or the other wins, or they crash into each other before getting to the end. I hope that the increased talks and trends toward militarizing this place don’t make the crash more likely, but have the intended effects.

The other item that is gaining traction, apparently and hopefully, is the talks of a more rational approach to the opium crop in Afghanistan. There was this BBC article on doctors in Great Britain calling for Afghan opium to be used for morphine. Then there was this article about Canada trying to stop an Agent Orange type plan.

Also, there is this article, from last December, that I seemed to have missed. This article, originally in the St. Louis Dispatch, talks about one Congressman’s efforts to change US policy in Afghanistan, and calls to make it similar to the opium production in Turkey and India (so that may be why they (India) aren’t pushing for it in Afghanistan, India isn’t a trafficking route, and they don’t want to cut their own legalized oligopoly position). But the quote from the US State Dept. personnel seems to indicate that any traction this idea may be gaining will end up leading it to a brick wall. I would believe that countries as big as India and Turkey have illegal opium production, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem there.

So despite the warming trend, weather wise, all the snow melting, the ground softening and the roads turning to mud—things are gaining traction here. The question on the forefront though, is which roads give better traction.

**P.S. Safrang(i.e. Hamesha) has a post about the drug stuff and the new US Ambassador to Afghanistan, who happens to be coming from Colombia, yes, the nation of "Plan Columbia".

The Name of the Game

2007-01-19T19:35:00.000+04:30

Inconsistency, it is. I’ve proven my fealty to that, blog wise at least (blah blah blah…apologize…blah blah blah…empty promise for the opposite…blah blah blah…blah blah blah).

I call it adapting, though.

Adaptability may be one of the most strident qualities of the Afghans, as is fairly obvious and well noted, and I still remain constantly astounded by stories I hear. Though, the consequences of adaptability lie on both sides of any normative analysis or coarse assessments of what’s the situation and prescription here. Lack of fealty is probably one of the most malleable consequences in terms of being cast both as a positive and negative.

Simply, it may break down to a chicken/egg thing, both the cause and consequence of nothing in this place seeming to have any permanency. It’s not so much that there is an absence, but transience everywhere (and there probably is a link to the fatalism ascribed to regional cultures and Islam with this). It’s not that everything flitters around here, it’s that the ground, literally is constantly on the move. It’s a bad thing to hold on to, and even hope for, something solid. Yet, I’m convinced (partly out of a need to rationalize my own perspective, attitude and actions) adaptability is stridently good. But the consequences do make for damn difficult circumstances and contexts to work in. And contexts are only useful with content, and content needs objectivity, transient or not…just not as long as it’s not transcendental.

Now that I’ve once again shaken off everyone, let me get to some useful content. As has been noted and blogged about on other blogs linked here (see Hamesha’s and the newly linked Roland’s blog), the big news items are the recent attempted attack in Kabul, and the Afghans that thwarted it’s effectiveness, the Anne Applebaum article on the opium issue here, and the recent talks about more US troops here.

The attack, and the Afghans involved in the stopping of it, I hope will affect the discussion of more troops here, in that, at least in Kabul, it indicates that the US/foreign presence here isn’t largely, or rather wholly, unwelcome. That it occurred when the US Sec. of Defense Gates was here, I, cynically, take as a good thing (though this article, on a military-centric website, makes no mention of the Afghans that apparently did the brunt of the work in thwarting the attack).

On the Applebaum article, I’m glad to see that the idea has gotten some press. It’s an old topic here, especially the talk about Turkey’s privileged status and why the western gov’ts (and I think as much fault goes to the EU as the US here) won’t seem to even discuss the idea of Afghanistan being granted similar status (I would love to hear that I am wrong on this though). My first guess would be the self-interest both the US and EU have in not taking such a program away from Turkey, though I am guessing they really don’t need it that much more…unless the regions that produce opium there are Kurdish…then the complexity and reluctance on both seem understandable, though not necessarily justifiable.

Also, Senlis, a French NGO has been pushing the idea for a while, and even has a full report on mainstreaming and legalizing opium production here. I haven’t read the report in full yet. Also, I would think that both Pakistan and India would come behind such an effort, as especially India has a well-established pharmaceutical industry. It seems like such a program would be workable and a win-win for several of the actors in this region.

Though, at least on the US policy/rhetoric front, all that would require some adaptability…

Resolution 1:

2007-01-03T17:15:00.000+04:30

Done. Despite this whole Hong Kong internet thing crimpin my downloading style.

Get the new Talib & Madlib collaboration...for free...from here.

Too Much To Be Resolved

2007-01-01T20:52:00.000+04:30

First and foremost: Eid Mubarak, Happy New Year and a belated Merry Xmas.

Second, the words of Creeley:

New Year’s Resolution

What one might say
wanting to do it,
hoping to solve it,
make resolution—

You break it to bits,
swallow the pieces,
finally quit quitting,
accept it, forget it.

But what world is this
has such parts,
or makes even thinkable
paradoxic new starts—

Turn of the year
weighs in the cold
all that’s proposed
simply to change it.

Still, try again
to be common, human,
learn from all
how to be one included.

So the above sentiments may not be the most positive to begin the year on, but they likely are the most pragmatic (and hold on to that little sentiment at the end). I’ll get a jump start on the quitting quitting and won’t even think about my smoking habit. Though, I’ll come away with one resolution: to finish all the books I started to read this past year, especially Negri’s “Multitude” and “Empire” (though I blame my failing there on the lot that wouldn’t join me in a reading/discussion group for those books).

As expected, the past week has been blissfully, yet excruciatingly slow. It’s been a good and cold Eid. For New Year’s Eve, we got out of the house for dinner, enjoyed our pizza and all (likely) fell asleep before the witching hour. At least I was asleep at midnight, and to be frank, in many ways it’s nice to have an altered significance for these holidays.

New Year’s Day was spent quite pleasantly at Kabul Coffee House. I got to read a document with some pleasant aspirations regarding Afghanistan’s internationalization efforts, followed by a good dose of Negri. Both elicited equal amounts of cynicism towards the texts.

KCH has got its espresso machine working again, and it was good espresso, so sentiments aside, I had a good time.

There is a really interesting article on a journalist's travels on Afghanistan's Ring Road (again from the LATimes which seems to have been providing the best coverage on Afghanistan of late). Perhaps if things calm down, I’ll be able to take the road to a few of the places that my job deals with, but as of now, I’ll still have to experience much of this country vicariously too.

Most of the other coverage on Afghanistan I’ve come across recently has just been a regurgitation of what’s been said for the past 6 months. The foreboding headlines seem less prescient now, but as has been the case for too long, the spring season will be the best judge of the state of this country.

As of now, due to the winter holidays, Eid and general seasonal slow down, things seem to be moving at a snail’s pace here. There is a weird absence of both optimism and pessimism. Maybe it’s a good normalization, maybe feelings are too hard when your toes are numb all day long. Though my coworkers and I read the headlines and remain thankful that the predictions that this place was heading the way of Iraq have turned out to be far from coming true. And we optimistically don’t see this place heading to that same end. No time soon at least.

And finally, go check Safrang/Hamesha’s blog, he’s put up a good post about the cross border relations between Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Wishing everyone a good year, paradoxes and all.

Back in Kabul

2006-12-22T00:30:00.000+04:30

First, look to your right. On the webpage. Photos.

So I've been back in Kabul for nearly a week now. During that week, just about everyone else has left.

The holiday period will be quite a stretch, as Eid holidays coincide with this season. So our national staff get around 6 days off. We get at least 2. But the remaining 4 will be slow, if not the whole stretch from now until a week or two into January.

It's getting cold too. As usual with the winter onset, and thankfully, it's been quieter in the country overall and remains quiet here in Kabul.

So I've had to change the template. I put that little sidebar gizmo thing linking to my flickr account. You'll find photos of Kabul and Singapore up there. I have no clue how often I'll update it, but I'll try to remember to post something if I put up photos of Afghanistan.

All: Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year.

My Apologies...

2006-12-09T23:34:00.000+04:30

...especially to the regulars who check the blog for updates. It's been quite hectic at work, especially so since I've been trying to tackle a few high priority things, fighting a few fires, and getting things straight before my R&R.

So yeah, I get a short break for 7 or so days. Will be much appreciated, especially after the last few weeks.

I'm off to Singapore, so I'll hopefully pick up a camera too and get back to posting pictures.

To those comments I haven't replied to, I apologize for that as well.

See you all soon.

Hunting Turkey

2006-11-23T23:05:00.000+04:30

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Last year the cooks managed to find a turkey in the city markets. This year they had no luck. So we decided to go hunting for turkey on Tuesday. It took about three hours, but we came back with about 30lbs of bird.

At about 1pm, about 9 of us loaded up into two SUVs, 5 of us with rifles at the ready. Ok, so they were AKs, and not the ornate Enfield elephant guns one can find in the tourist shops of Kabul (though we were looking for what translates from Dari as “elephant chicken”). And true, the 5 armed men were our usual security detail, in uniform, just along for the ride to keep us safe...and it’s true, that we were just going to the expat grocery store.

So we had to trek down the infamous Jalalabad Rd. (a few 2-3 meter craters are still readily visible in the road, i.e. a nice reminder that a car was blown up right where you’re driving over), but the calculus of the moment said it was OK to go down the road. Plus, since the PXs can’t sell alcohol anymore, one would think the road was less frequented by foreigners, and thus less of a “hot” road.

But there are still ISAF patrols on the street, but our drivers kept their distance from the one that was there. Also, I saw an ISAF foot patrol on a off street along the main road. That was a first, and I’m wondering if it is a new tactic. The soldiers are less concentrated, which is a good thing, but I’m wondering how the Afghans feel about it. But if any people are used to armed men in their midst, it’s surely Afghans, and especially Kabulis.

So after finding no luck at the first Aussie run store, at the second we found a 30lb bird in the freezer of the Italian run store. When standing in the kitchen with the cooks, all of us circling the frozen bird, marveling at it, they started wondering where it came from. The wrapper had Cyrillic, Arabic, Spanish, English, and what I now assume is Portuguese writing on it.

See the bird came to us, in Kabul, via an Italian run store, from Brazil; “Producto de Brazil” clearly written on the back side of the bird. [Delete “aaaah, the globalized ‘flat-world’” comment here.] So now the Brazilians are beating the U.S. out in the citrus AND the poultry market???

However far the bird traveled, our cooks did a masterful job of cooking it up, fixins and all. We had a quite, family style, dinner this year, as opposed to the T-day party we had last year. Our style this year reflects the changes that our project and company have gone through over the past year, and the dynamic of the house now versus this time last year. All in all, a great holiday. Plus I get tomorrow off. This two-day weekend thing is phenomenal. Gotta make sure my next job has that deal.

Also, and much more importantly, and something to truly give thanks for, I found some new live Modest Mouse on line; and not just any old bootleg. This is from a show earlier this month in LA. And yes, those that are fanboys of the band as I am, you know what this means.

Johnny Marr is playing guitar with the band. Hell, not just “with” the band, as now he’s “officially” part of the band. For those not in the know, yes, this is that Johnny Marr. For you all really not in the know, and I should ban you all from reading my blog, the Johnny Marr that played guitar in The Smiths, the Johnny Marr that wrote all the beautiful music of The Smiths.

MM’s new album was supposed to be dropped some time this year, but that is no longer the case. Though the sound quality isn’t too good, several new songs available on the web page. It’s enough to make any loser hipster very very happy—and thankful. And you need not ask if I think they are at least a few that are brilliant.

So, just to make sure: go get them here.

Another Article

2006-11-13T16:25:00.000+04:30

From the LATimes comes an article on the Afghan National Army (ANA). Particularly interesting is the discussion about the focus on making a multi-ethnic army, aimed at providing a unifying symbol for Afghanistan. This is something, as the article notes, that never existed before. Something I still find confusing is the "Afghan" identity and what it means to those claiming it. Similar issues, of course, come up with may nations in the region carved from colonialism. But Afghanistan, with it not being under the brits or any other recent colonizers, I find particulary interesting and difficult to understand.

The article discusses some of the disparities between the US soldiers training and operating with the ANA, and are somewhat expected. More interesting to me was the info and insights on the internal issues of the ANA and how the soldiers are dealing with the "unified army". The aspirations seem noble and provide some hope, though as the article notes, achieving that will depend on the actual existence and growth of the ANA (which goes back to the more technical issues the ANA faces).

Either way, and interesting read. I'd love to hear what some Afghans think about the article and the aims of the ANA for providing a "unified Afghan" identity (Hamesha?, HIK?). Also, I wonder if the US army is using it's own history of integration efforts and lessons learned there, and also the benifits of such, in its work with the ANA.

More Photos...from others of course.

2006-11-13T15:12:00.000+04:30

The WaPo is featuring an interactive photo essay, "The Women of Afghanistan", on their front page today. The stories of 5 women are presented against the photos of Paula Lerner. Lerner is a photojournalist volunteering with the Business Council for Peace and has been documenting the work of the NGO, which is working with women entrepreneurs in Afghanistan.

The photo essay is framed by an intro and an epilogue by Lerner. At first, listening to only those, I was a bit disappointed, partly thinking it was another doom and gloom piece. But after going thorugh the whole presentation, I find it to be incredibly well done. The features on the women contain photos of them, their work, and some random photos of Kabul, providing good context. The narration is either by the women or provided via a translator ( I believe). They tell their stories, their stuggles and their success all within 2 minutes each.

The lack of detail perhaps helps to leave one finding the stories incredibly inspiring, at least I did. That feeling, balanced by the more macro-level insights on the recent developments provided by Lerner at the beginning and end, comes across more even keeled. It's quite nice to see a story on Afghanistan so well tempered.

And so...

2006-11-10T21:56:00.000+04:30

...it's been one year here.

Tempered Temperaments

2006-11-09T23:05:00.000+04:30

Despite the fact that heavy amount of news from the other current concerns would have overshadowed much of the news from Afghanistan, the truth of the matter is that despite a few headline worthy events, and one fairly tragic event, there hasn’t been much to spotlight here recently. Even the German soldier gaffe didn’t spend too much time in the news.

I’m happy for that. Event wise, Ramadan went fairly unnoticeably, and the subsequent weeks have gone by quietly too—at least here, for me, in Kabul. (Though, a week or so back, nightly, one could hear the jets taking off from around the area. I assume this was tied to the activities in the south and along the western border). Mullah Omar promised a continued assault, by the Taliban, through the winter. Though it’s too early to make a call the veracity of that, as maybe they’re bedding down for that assault, there hasn’t been much news regarding them on the assault recently.

The recent dearth of front-page worthy news (with the few noted exceptions) and the press’ focus shifting, headline wise, may have to do somewhat with the apparent shift in temperament. Apparent to me at least. Through the spring and summer, everyone was spelling doom. It felt like this place was on the verge of a doom-laden spiral. I both believed and felt it true, at least the part about it being at a precipice. Despite there not being any singularly significant events, it seems like there is a noticeable shift here. The military transitions have gone fairly well, and what was to be a slow and grinding war in the south seems to have been a quelled insurgence in retrospect. I hope I’m not hasty in saying that.

Hopefully the headlines and attention of a few months past were just crying wolf. That is not to say that they were false, the wolf was (and still may be) there. Just rather than raiding the chicken coop, it was circling the hills. The failures, difficulties and problems chronicled in those articles and stories are true, and the problems still remain.

The tone, though, was maybe a bit more apocalyptic than what has come to play. In the least, my temperament at the time was a bit over the top. As for what I’m working on, despite how problematic it is, and how difficult things are, they are moving. Crises are being averted. Perhaps the take on this place, and at least my thoughts and disposition, got caught up in the tragedy to the west of us, but thankfully, things are nowhere near the same, both institutionally and governance wise, and simply in the day to day life of everyone here. All may not be functioning well, but they are functional.

The nip at the heels this past spring and summer (I hope that isn’t too diminutive) may have been, and will hopefully be, a necessary dose of reality as to the current state of this place and what is still so desperately needed over here. Hopefully expectations are a bit more realistic now. Hopefully the rhetoric, from all spectrums (and especially after the shake-ups in D.C.) will be tempered a bit. Hopefully the donors will start to get their act together and priorities can be aligned. Hopefully the blunders have taught some lessons.

There isn’t much rose-glassed hope here anymore. But for the work I’m involved in, there are at least positive expectations for the next 5 to 6 months. I hope that’s true on the larger scale for what’s going on here and with a tempered hope things are turning for the better.

As a complete side note, I am very hopeful about what may be to come from a new band I’ve come across. I’m still loving the recent finds, though today I came across this track, “Brittle Britches” by Quien Es, Boom! via Salon’s Audiofile. The EP (though called a full length release, it’s only 7 tracks), which I promptly downloaded from iTunes, “Cast Your Burdens Aside” is titled well for the current mood. The music captures and conveys the current temperament quite well, so it’s been on repeat for the past several hours.

The band is from Austin, with some strong links and ties to Chicago (may have been recorded there? and the producer is from the Chicago scene). Listening to a few tracks reinforces both of those locales' sounds. The album is fairly heavy on the alt-country and Americana sound of a few of the Austin bands like Calexico. There are nearly equal measures of Chicago post-rock of several variants, such as the bluesy Califone to the jazzy Pele or Joan of Arc. A few of the songs have well done math-rocky time signature and/or tempo shifts. The guitar lines are largely clean and melodic, the hooks simple and repetitive in a good way.

That free song linked above sounds like it coulda been the intro to a Joan of Arc or Don Caballero song, shifting to a lyric verse instead of distorted guitars and breakbeats. The drumming is largely sparse, and fills the space incredibly well. In many ways, this does sound like the Chicago (?) band Pele with lyrics, and a new found country/Americana fixation. The songs, over all, are composed really well, crescendos and codas and other musical terms I don’t really know how to correctly define, let alone identify.

And the dude's voice is quite good, a slight gruffiness, and a slight drawl, with good phrasing and delivery for poppy songs. One song in particular, "Twenty Eight in Twelve", with a quick sunny poppy cadence, the dude sounds like a smoked out Paul Simon. Though the plucky guitar line may make that reference to "Diamond on The Soles..." era Simon easier.

Regardless of my incompetence, or perhaps largely because of it, I’m hopeful that this EP bodes very well for things to come from this band.

On it’s own and with an affable ethos, the band crafts balanced and nearly languid songs while displaying solid musicianship and well placed electronic/experimental flourishes...why yes...it's all tempered well.

The Action Returns

2006-10-28T21:38:00.001+04:30

Today everything came back in full swing. I didn't notice much of a post holiday lull, the kind so common after New Year's in the states. The laundry guy was at least quite busy...having one weeks of laundry from me (though I did skip his mid-week visit) and a lot from the other expats, I assumme.

So in escaping from work, and in trying to find some music more aggressive than Rogue Wave, I went digging through my hard-drive...internal and then external. Couldn't find much and I knew what I wanted to listen to...some good college-days hardcore punk. So I went to the web, looking for some Pee Tanks (btw, that myspace link will take you to a brilliant cover they did of "With or Without You")...and look what I found: The Action Patrol. If any of you readers were around Richmond or Roanoke in the early and mid 90s, you may remember them. Best yet, it appears their whole discograpy (well at least enough to make any returning fan happy) is online, all free MP3s to download. If you're reluctant to believe me regarding their unquestionable brilliance. Start here with "Tube"...unquestionable.

Updates and Changes...

2006-10-27T18:19:00.000+04:30

As you may have noticed, there had been less and less of the "on the ground" perspective of what going on in Afghanistan. I think it was partly subconcious, as I was preparing to disengage from this place and move on. I was looking at returning in December. Yeah...that preceding sentence was written in the past tense.

Our contract got extended again, till March '07, and there are a lot of things that may continue on past then. Even as this current extension was developing I was still planning on coming home in December and getting ready to give the bar exam another shot in February, get a normal job, move on with life, a year here was enough, etc... Just yesterday I told my boss I'll stay on...kinda indefinately, and more accurately that I've dropped the solid plans on coming home in December.

So maybe I'll become reengaged with this place again, and rather than just passively take it all in, start thinking and writing about it more. In the least, I'll be updating the blog roll on the right hand side. There are a few new Kabul/Afghanistan related blogs, some have dropped off, and some are posting again (well one Hamesha...hopefully he'll start posting about Afghanistan again).

The Long Promised

2006-10-27T12:15:00.000+04:30

Here it is. The post about regional issues, focused through Balochistan, rather than Kabul.

Though originally I was going to write a long post, in the end (due to laziness, distance, or even myself paying less attention to the regional news), I think this will be a quick post. At least I’ll try. Besides, you all come here to read about my musical discoveries, not my political theories and armchair observations.

(On that note, it’s been Rogue Wave out of the Bay area. Heard “Eyes” (listen here on their Myspace page) while watching NBC’s Heroes, tracked them down quickly. Four free MP3s on the left on their Subpop page.

So over the past year, as you all know, I often end up talking to the Afghan nationals in Urdu. They ask me where in Pakistan I’m from and I ask them where they lived and if they still have family still in Pakistan. Many times I’ll ask them directly if they were in Peshawer, the primarily Pathan/Pashtun city and area in Pakistan. What has surprised me is how many have answered that they were in fact in Quetta.

Quetta is south of Peshawer, and though apparently different now, was (in my mind at least) a Balochi town, it being in the Balochistan province. I’m not sure about the linguistic roots of the language Baloch, but as I understand the ethnic roots, they are a long standing Persian rooted ethnicity. How distinct they are from other Persian ethnicities and the Pathans, I don’t know, but there has been a continuous independence movement post-colonialism, and marked autonomy before then. Either way, there are a large group of Balochi people both in southeast Iran, and traversing the border, in southwest Pakistan and a small amount in Afghanistan.

Over the past several years, the central gov’t of Pakistan has been trying to develop the resources in Balochistan and exploit the geographics of the area. There are gas and other natural resources in the area, and the coastline has a key deep-sea port, Gwadar, that is being heavily invested in. The area is also key to the Iran-Pak-India pipeline. Supposedly, as I’ve recently learned, China has heavy interests in Gwadar, both as an export route for NW China and an import route for energy resources.

Iran is in a particularly rough spot, balancing fighting the US/NATO alliance in Afghanistan via the Balochis and Taliban residing in and around Quetta, ensuring their energy/resource export routes to India and China and making sure their Balochis don’t get too many nationalist aspirations (also, it seems like the deep sea port in Gwadar contends w/ Persian Gulf ports of the Iranians and the Gulf Arabs). India, of course, is in constant power checks with Pakistan while desperately trying to make sure they get their energy they need and keep their export routes and battling China for economic dominance.

So you have three countries with strong economic and/or geographic empire building interests, Iran, China and India battling it out over an area inhabited by a traditionally autonomous and apparently fiercely independent people. Then you have two sub-player/proxy countries (and their contending internal power players), Afghanistan and Pakistan, keeping their selves alive and their provincial interests and exploits continuing...all while figuring out how to play off and around all the long-term promises.

I imagine it’s like picking a skirt to hide under while there is a square dance going on. How do you hide when there are constant positional and partner changes? Maybe this has a lot to do for explaining the apparent intransigence of the leaders of Afghanistan and Pakistan in dealing with the tribal issues they share. Maybe just pick a place and wait till the skirt comes to you. It seems like the Balochis may face the fate of the Kurds. It may be unfortunate and a constantly forgotten issue that will just make everything more difficult.

As far as keeping up with the news on the area, Ahmed Rashid seems to mention the topic quite a bit when talking about the regional issues. I think I’ve linked to or mentioned his writing on the issue before. Here is a “Live Online” discussion from two weeks back where he answers some questions related to Balochistan.

Google news searches always work well, and just a few days ago some Balochi militants blew up the pipeline there. Besides Reuters, it seems like only regional newspapers picked up the story. Though I’m lacking Nexis, so I’m limited to Google’s news sources/search.

A really good resource on the issue can be found here, provided by the Hindustan Times. Titled “Battleground Balochistan”, with a distinctly US media feel to it, I find it’s presentation style comforting.

In the end, I think with all the long-term promises, always made in general terms, with the obvious and incredibly contending and complex regional and global self-interests, these promises may stay long promised.

Eid Mubarak

2006-10-21T21:26:00.000+04:30

We're upon the holiday season here and a week or so off. We're not sure yet how long the holidays are supposed to be, so preemptively we gave the national staff tomorrow off. Eid will either be Sunday or Monday, depending on the moon sighting here. I'm used to a calendar dictated Ramazan and Eid, so the "traditional" moon sighted style is kinda nice. Nice in that it got our national staff a day off, and though expats have to work tomorrow, when there is no national staff around, it makes for slow days. The best part is we have 6 days of slow days. Eid being a 3 day holiday starting either Sunday or Monday (for the Gov't, but we are doing a 4 day holiday) till Wednesday and with Friday being the weekend, the day between is a holiday. I think we're celebrating Columbus Day, so expats get that day off too. No jokes about colonialism part of that holiday and the irony of celebrating it in Afghanistan.

Though I'm guessing the majority of the readers don't celebrate it, and aren't in places that it's an official holiday, Eid Mubarak nonetheless.

Back to the pictures theme. Slate did another retrospective centering on women in Afghanistan. There was some big Afghan-American women's conference in Kabul last week. I heard nothing of it till I read Slate's note on it. Also, there is some "Woman's Day" as part of the Eid holiday. I think that is purely regional, as I'm not familiar with such being part of the larger muslim culture or holiday. Anyone know anything about that? Also, to celebrate "Woman's Day" there are supposedly aboout 15 or so women, who recently crossed the border from Pakistan, that plan on celebrating the day by blowing themselves up in Kabul and various other places. Yeah...so go take a look at those pictures of women covered in the birdie burkas.

The Vote Is In

2006-10-03T22:53:00.000+04:30

Less music, more photos. But I'll keep my promise nonetheless, and talk about music later....for now though:

Slate has a retrospective of Magnum's photos from Afghanistan in 2001, this week being the 5 year anniversary of the US's & GB's attack of Afghanistan.

They are found here. The photos are quite stark. The first one looks to me more like a charcoal than a photograph. The series focuses on Northern Alliance soldiers and the IDPs of the time.

In general, conditions here are getting worse, as most know. The headlines and coverage on that side of the globe, finally, seems plenty. The phrase "at least were not in Baghdad" is said much more often. Except now the humor in it is gone, replaced by a sad comparative sincerity.

Also, there has been more talk about how Iran is affecting what is going on here. I'll do a round-up of some of that coverage soon, and maybe discuss my crack-pot theories on that. Most of that coverage doesn't seem to be coming from US sources though. And of course Ahmed Rashid had mentioned that issue several months ago, tying it into the troubles in Balochistan (which I can't seem to find much news on these days, anyone find anything?).

At Your Behest

2006-10-02T18:28:00.000+04:30

No no...don't worry this isn't a music post.

Chad Hunt, who some of you may have seen posting a few questions and comments before, just sent me a link to his collection of photos taken while embedded with some soldiers here in Afghanistan.

They can be found here.

Largely, they are of the parts of this country (outside of Kabul) and a part of a particular life here (the foreign soldier) that I will likely never see. And they are great photos too. Go look.

The Martial Arts of Mayhem

2006-09-30T22:27:00.000+04:30

It was a day for fights. All blows pummeled through smiles, laughs, smirks and some judo too. Well a lot of judo—others may call it diplomacy.

My day started with some sparring with our security chief. For others, including him, the day started with the bombing today. It killed a dozen or so and injured even more. My day, though, should have started with the meeting I needed to go to, it’s location not far from where the bomb went off.

I did go to the meeting, after some posturing, positioning, and a little bit of tussling. (Though, not much, as I deeply respect and trust our security folks, and consider them personal friends beyond colleagues...moreover, at the end of the day, and after all the sparring, my life is often in their hands. I trust their better (than mine, surely) judgment. However surly they or I may be in conversation; a rare occurrence, truth be told.)

The condition for me being allowed to go was the alternate route mapped by my driver and security chief. We were to take a chase car, i.e. the “making ourselves the obvious target” phenomenon and duly avoid any congestion, i.e. the “avoid being the sitting target” phenomenon. See, everything is a matter of judo here.

On the way to the meeting, there was a crowd outside the Red Cross/Crescent (I believe, but it may be UN) mine victims hospital. There was a lot of jostling to get in the entry gate, and a lot of jostling to get around the entry gate. Eventually we did get around. At the moment I didn’t want to think much about the people trying to get in the hospital. I still don’t.

Then there was the sparring at the meeting. It was a bid opening for a large contract. I, as a neutral observer, had to sit at the same table as the bid evaluation committee. I’m glad I put on the blazer (though no tie) as there was a Minister, and a few Deputy Ministers up there. I still think I should have gone with the black mock turtle neck and black jeans this morning. The only problem there being that I not having those items in my wardrobe since 1989.

So the vendors/bidders sat there in front of the panel as we opened the bids. It was nearly mayhem, and there was some jostling, and a good amount of contention. But it went, not to well, but it went. At the end of the event, the smiles, laughs and smirks became a bit more sincere, or in the least a little less restrained.

Finally, the bid opening was followed with a debrief/meeting with a Minister and a Dep. Minister. Since we were all aiming for the same ends, the posturing and positioning was actually fruitful. But the martial arts were deployed nonetheless. It seems, today, that nothing was not a matter of diplomacy.

As limited and difficult as it may be these days, there are still systems in place here. As frustrating as this day was, especially as it was one milestone on what I’ve been working on since spring, I ended the day more hopeful than when I started.

On the way home much of the morning mayhem had subsided. The city was in it’s usual Ramadan calm. Hopefully the optimism and relief I felt at the end of the day are not simply because there were no more bombs that went off today.

Ramadan Mubarak

2006-09-23T12:30:00.000+04:30

I wish everyone a happy and peaceful Ramadan.

Stone Throwing In Kabul...

2006-09-22T01:06:00.000+04:30

...well rather Stones Throw in Kabul. I know it’s probably inappropriate these days to make jokes about that subject (given the return of the Ministry of Vice & Virtue, the resurgence of the Taliban, and Ramadan being right around the corner). Further, I realize it is inappropriate to imply or infer that the above title and tail is a joke, given its complete lack of anything approaching humor. And finally, I realize as this is a music post, and given such posts’ lack of audience, this lead was a complete prophylactic to the text below. But I’ll move on.

See, just yesterday I downloaded “Shine Through”, Aloe Blacc’s new solo album on Stones Throw Records (home of Madlib and all his ‘a.k.a.s’). And I’m a giddy little 12 year-old girl again, making bad and awkward “jokes”. Yes, again, and as always.

Where to start? Where to end? Well in a recent email to a friend, I conceded that though the whole album isn’t brilliant, it surely shows that Aloe Blacc is—even if he produces no other music in his life. Truth be told, I still think the album is brilliant, in scope, concept, and nearly in execution. P-fork did a recent review of one of his singles (though the album was apparently dropped in July), a Madlib produced track, which meant I was buying it regardless. (Sidenote: and reminded me to check if any new Madvillain had been released (which it has), I'm reminding you here.) The spectacular track is “One Inna” and hooked me immediately.

Again, Madlib creates a perfect vehicle for the artist he’s working with, blending and adapting a beat drenched w/ telltale Madlib signatures to the artist. The track turns out to be a nearly 4 minute version of Madlib’s catchy-hook/repetitive/chilled beats, which generally work best as shorter beats (i.e. ‘Accordian’, ‘Green Power’, etc.). Yet the beat moves a lot over the 4 minutes and when the melody comes on stronger towards the end, the song takes off, gently and without swelling or becoming overwhelming.

Thealbum is a brilliant showcase and exploration of all of Blacc’s influences, which he does both explicitly and creatively. This concept/premise is made clear on the first track, “Whole World.” He name checks Simone, Jobim, Cooke, Gaye, Davis, Fitzgerald, and Coltrane, through an intoned delivery of a nearly chant like lyric “And the whole world reminds me of...” He produced the beats on all but two of the 16 tracks. And the two tracks, one of which is Madlib’s, don’t really stick out. That says enough, I think.

There are at least two covers, one of which is "Gente Ordinaria", sung in Spanish (he bounces seamlessly between Spanish and English throughout the album), covering John Legend’s “Ordinary People.” I like Blacc’s version better. There is another cover--Cooke’s “A Change is Gonna Come” done incredibly well (multi-part harmony gospel like refrain) and titled “Long Time Coming”. The title track, “Shine Through” is what’s best described as a ‘tribute’ to Marley’s “Chances Are”. The guitar line immediately sounded familiar, but it was made clear when I did the headphone listen and heard a faint voice in the studio singing “chances are.” The track is a rough/live studio cut, which much of the whole album sounds like, except for the constant “digital soul” flourishes found on many tracks (not far from Jamie Lidell, but so much more on the hip-hop beats).

The album is drenched in Blacc's latin background (he's Panamanian-American according to the bios) with the percussion, the horn lines and the piano. There is salsa, bossa nova, and dub/dancehall and calypso infused throughout, and on "Genta Ordinaria" he does a call out to people of several (all??) Latino countries.

His voice isn’t the smoothest, especially at the upper range, but his sincerity and minimalism in delivery make up for it. And his flow on the rapped lyrics more than compensates.

And I’ll try to keep this site from having full on “reviews” like the above, once I get through this awkward giggling pubescence.

Maintaining Caddies and Kittens

2006-09-15T18:41:00.000+04:30

It seems like I’m coming back to Kabul with the tourist mentality that I surely didn’t have when I left before my break.

Today, our day off, my coworker (who covered my job while I was gone) and I went to the Kabul Golf Club to play three holes. We followed that by a trip to the Babur Gardens. And finally stopped by Chelsea (the “western”/expat grocery store) to pick up cat food for the kittens he’s adopted.

The course is on the outskirts of the city, up in the hills next to Qargha Lake. As can be seen on their website, they pander to the imperial cowboy expat crowd in Kabul (“Extreme Golf With an Attitude”). The air was nice, the weather was wonderful, and watching my two armed guards hand me their AKs so they could take a few swings and putts was amusing. I skipped the souvenir shirt and hat and opted for a few key chains.

The Babur Gardens were quite nice by Kabul standards. It was great to see the restoration efforts. But not seeing the fountains flowing and seeing the 400 or so year old gravestones of historic Mughals pockmarked by bullets was somewhat disappointing. They don’t really compare to the Shalimar Gardens of Lahore, but not much can.

This and a quick stop at Chelsea to pick up canned cat food ended the tourist/expat day in Kabul. Though I regret leaving my (well my parent’s...) camera at home, I’ll maintain that such makes the day a little less touristy for me. I’ll maintain that despite the fact that all the Afghans that were at Qargha Lake and Babur Gardens were snapping away with their cameras.

Good Morning Sunshine

2006-09-14T05:38:00.000+04:30

It’s my third day back in Kabul, and I just watched my first sunrise since I’ve been here, since last November that is. The jetlag has been getting me to bed at 8pm, and up much earlier than my usual.

I’m sure this will all change soon enough, as I already feel like I’m settling in. In fact, I had a sense of settlement as soon as I was being driven back from the airport on all too familiar roads. They seemed a bit more empty than usual, lacking the usual afternoon rush. It may have just been me, as I was getting accommodated to the constant rush hour back in DC, but I asked our security folks if there was less traffic after the recent bombing in Kabul. They seemed to agree somewhat. The lack of traffic will likely stay as Ramadan is approaching, and generally things slow down during that time of year.

As I was getting ready to return I was telling my friends that I was somewhat dreading my return. I’m not so sure now if it was dread, but rather just a lack of excitement that I usually feel whenever traveling and just the gloom of an impending end to a wonderful and relaxing break.

But here now, I’m fine and comfortable. A certain sense of home has quickly settled in. But coming from “home home”, rather than just a vacation or other spot as was the case on the other RnRs has clarified something, I believe. The contrast between how this place figures as my “home” versus how where my dear friends and family are and where I’m from figures as “home home” has certainly become starker.

Either way, as work starts to settle in and my sleep returns to my normal sporadic insomniac patterns, I’m sure I wont be worry about definitions of home so much. Unfortunately, besides because of Ramadan, I wont see sunrises in Kabul so much either. But for now, I’m enjoying a beautiful morning sunrise.

Reassuringly Pavlovian

2006-08-18T22:10:00.000+04:30

I was partly packing up, and partly watching the “Arrested Development” Season 1 I had just picked up. Then I heard some noises coming from outside my window. They were loud noises and my mouth started salivating. Well I wasn’t so much salivating, but I did immediately pause the DVD, take a second, and then go for the camera. I’m kinda disgusted by that. The going for the camera part, but it’s not the first time, and probably wont be the last time. And as terrible or even disgusting as it may be that I want to take pictures when I hear explosions going off, I’m kinda happy that the response is somewhat Pavlovian. If only for the reason that it means that I’m not completely acclimatized to living here, or even rather that I am correctly acclimatized, in that I notice explosions.

Usually when I’m sitting at my desk, in front of my computer with the music playing, and I hear what later turns out to be a door slamming or an engine backfiring my middle finger finds its way instantly to the mute button. The circumstances were slightly different tonight, but the ends were pretty much the same.

This time though, it was fireworks going off. Yeah, I know, I had the same “wtf” response when I got out on the patio, camera in hand, and saw what was going on. Tomorrow is Independence Day. And well, there has been a weeklong continuing “wtf” response to the holiday too. Since not much of the local staff can explain what/whom the “independence” was from (the day of celebrating the defeat of the Soviets is in spring), and assuming that it’s done in correlation with India’s and Pakistan’s Independence Day celebration, i.e. from the Brits) and I can’t seem to find much info on such, or rather get a satisfying explanation, I hoping someone else here can provide info on that. After all, even the Durand Line is still in place.

Anyway, I got to see some fireworks. And as far as that particular “wtf” response, even though I’m all for celebrating one’s independence from occupiers (please, no irony/hypocrisy comments here...I’m well aware), are fireworks, exploding off TV Hill, the smartest thing to do in Kabul? A parade, showing big guns and waving kids—that I would have thought as much more appropriate these days. The time of the display going off would have been an ideal time to drop some RPGs or set off some IEDs. I think some tracers even went off from the side of town opposite where the fireworks were launched from, at least they looked like tracers.

My reservations notwithstanding, I got to see some nice fireworks. And once again, right around the time I’m leaving Kabul, explosions are going off. In celebration this time, thankfully. And hopefully tomorrow, any explosions will be for the same reason.

Last, but not least: Happy Afghan Independence day.

Fighting Time

2006-08-11T18:34:00.000+04:30

Its been a while since I’ve last posted, and since I’ve been home. Both are being remedied. At least one, thankfully (and I'm posting pictures, but I don't think they really count). The posting and the trip home, to me, both seem intrinsically tied. The first few weeks after my arrival here, though I could watch it fade, there was the immediate excitement and newness. Then for the intervening time, there has still been the uniqueness. As familiar as I am with much of this culture, it's not what I had been living in for the whole of my life. That uniqueness, or perhaps better stated as "distinctness" (as every place has its own mix of the universal and unique) at nearly 10 months, isn’t quite there anymore, and so less things get noticed and thought about.

And work has become nearly all-consuming over the past few weeks especially, besides just the new roles I’ve taken on in the past few months. Without trying to say too much, as things are politically sensitive these days, there was an article in the WaPo that discussed much of what we’re involved in and working on. There are a lot of concerns, and thus stress, and so I feel somewhat guilty about leaving at this juncture. But I need it, and soon enough I’ll be overdue on the trip home.

In the mean time, to help curtail the “I’m gettin’ the hell out” sentiment, I’m trying to be appreciative of the things that are quite nice here. After all, I’ll be coming back to them after a few weeks. So on the list, and excuse my superficiality, are daily laundry (though that got annoying so I’ve switched to two or three times a week, but the dude still comes to my door every day asking for my laundry) picked up from and delivered to my room—folded and ironed to boot. See, look below. That, I need to appreciate.

And speaking of my room, I nearly never have to leave it, the exceptions being meetings and food. If I could only get them to bring my plate to my room too... So this all facilitates my laziness way more than is healthy. Spending 20 hours in a room has its pros and cons. The laziness and only having to move a few feet to do most of what I need to do in a day being the main pro. The laziness and having to spend 20 hours in a room being the main con. It is a zero commute, but I wake up and see my desk. Then at the end of the day, I go to bed, and see my desk. You too can see my desk below. Yeah I know, freshman year dorm. But I’m approaching 30 now, and don’t play computer games all day. Yet, there is no commute. At all.

While I’m home, even visiting friends, I imagine I’ll be fighting DC area traffic. Right now all I have to fight is black hole like gravity of my bed...actually, I may be worse off now on that regard.

I’ll be busy, and likely not posting for a while (and I don’t know why I’m putting that point up as it’s been several weeks since the last post) as I get things ready and in place for my absence of a few weeks. Then I’ll be home, and probably not posting much. Not caring about time. Not noticing that the time since something has been too long, or the time till something is too short. Not caring about time, for a time of three weeks, will be nice.

Will be seeing many of you (OK...most of you, besides the random Sudan and Ireland readers) soon.

Barely a Metric for Pressure

2006-07-18T22:27:00.000+04:30

The good news is that I’m happy to report that I’ve managed to make the Davidoff Magnum cigarettes I got in Dubai last for almost 10 days. Ignore the fact that I’m still smoking way too much these days, and that I had to intersperse one of the most pristine cigarettes manufactured with crap Swedish Marlboros, likely manufactured in Korea. Davidoff Magnums are heavenly. I dare say, even better than Camel Wides. So I swing, sometimes within the hour from some of the best tobacco one can smoke to some of the worst.

And that is the general mood too. Around February, spring was knocking on the door, we got our first extension and a few big projects were rolling around and I was transitioning into my current role. Then it was July...all of the sudden it seems. The current role has the ups and downs I was warned, and prepared for. I can normally handle such well, with my stoic and annoying abstraction of everything. But now I’m seeing it reflected in my mood day to day.

My usual barometer for my mood is the music I’m listening to. Back in February, I got the Stone Jack Jones album "Bluefolk,” but as good as it was, its bluesy, Armageddon drenched, Appalachian flavored country wasn’t what the jet streams were calling for. Now they are. But my stoicism is still there.

Today at the dinner table while talking about what the lot of the world is talking about, and how it may affect us here, we had trouble recalling the last time there was an incident in Kabul. (For Kabul, it’s been nearly two weeks, though the South, by some measures is getting better (less total killing/fighting reported), and others, getting worse (Taliban took over two small towns).) I’m not sure if that is stoicism, on the part of all four of us sitting at the table, or just simple desensitization, on the part of all four of us sitting at the table. Either way, we quickly started talking about how the chicken that night was particularly good.

So back to the barometer, as the other end of it is that the summer crop of songs is coming out. It looks like it will be a good season. So when I get tired of the foreboding (with odd tinges of hope though...go check out ‘Vivid’) Stone Jack Jones, I’m all about Lily Allen and her new single “Smile.” Via p-fork, I found out about it a few weeks ago. And they put up a full album review, which paints a good picture. Sadly, iTunes only has the above-mentioned single's EP.

So I’m down to only one more pack of Magnums, and I’m probably wearing out 'Smile' and 'Vivid'. Maybe whats going on proximately and distantly will settle down too. Though there seems to be no causation between my smoking habits, the music I listen too and/or life outside Kabul, there may be a correlation.

I’ll have to keep an eye on those barometers.

Back to, But Not Into, The Swing of Things

2006-07-09T18:43:00.000+04:30

Got back to Kabul today. But feel completely out of the loop. The quick trip to Dubai was good, cause I really didn't do anything noteworthy at all: went to restaurants, smoked shisha, read, watched movies, sat by the pool, etc... Though, I think it just made the dislocation worse. Kept up with work there, but in coming back I feel completely out of the loop. And it was basically 48 hours that I wasn't here for.

But I did get to decompress, and sleep, and laize about. So the energy level should be back up for a bit, and will hopefully last me through to the end of August.

Work is largely the same. Though my affection for it had, or has changed. In the least my attitude towards it has changed. I'm giving it the 'it's not you, it's me' line these days. Maybe me and work can get back to the way we were before now that I've had this little break.

(Car) Bombs Bursting In Air

2006-07-04T13:30:00.000+04:30

Happy 4th everyone.

I thought I was gonna miss out on the fireworks. It's been a running tradition for nearly 10 years for a group of us high school friends to have a BBQ/Picnic, and then go watch the fireworks from the Mall. I obviously am missing that this year. Hello to all of you, wish I was there.

But fear not, I got to at least hear some explosions. Seems like the Taliban felt like commemorating the 4th as well. Though their explosives don't have that neat multi-color star effect. Maybe we'll at least get the ISAF to launch some tracers tonight or something.

A Wisdom of Sorts or of Sorting

2006-07-02T15:03:00.000+04:30

It could just as likely be tinnitus too. Because this next band has, as one of my former housemates used to say, "that annoying indie tinny sound." Upon saying such, and after yelling at me to turn the shit off, he would usually follow on with an explitive and command them to: 1) get decent recording equipment, or 2) learn to tune their insturments properly, or 3) stop letting tone-deaf singers join the band--and on the especially prideful occasion, I'd get him to say all three.

So this is for you Brown Bear: The Cold War Kids.

I've been sitting on them for a while. At first I dug them a lot. Then they seemed like good recyclers of many of the current crop of indie-stars (especially the NYC New Wave/Garage Rock/Blues-Soul crews). But now I'm settled to liking them a lot again. Once again, a provisio on the singing voice. So you got there sound.

If I were you, I'd start here, with "Hospital Beds", and then move on to here, with "The Soloist in the Living Room." Their website has two other downloads. Otherwise, they seem inaccessable from remote locations.

**But I found some more Cold War Kids songs. Here they are. A thank you to So Much Silence for posting the songs from a KEXP set.

Addressing Complaints

2006-06-29T17:27:00.000+04:30

And there have surely been a few. OK like three. Since there are four readers. But at least 2 have been that I don't post enough pictures. This is because I haven't taken a picture here since our last excursion out of the city. I never was a picture person.

But today, Slate's Magnum Photo feature is running a series of photos of Stokeley Carmicheal (aka Kwame Toure). Today is his birthday. They're great photos.

My favorites being the opening photo, the seventh photo, and this photo tops the list.

Enjoy.

“As long as it’s talking with you, talk of the weather will do.”

2006-06-25T17:49:00.000+04:30

The afternoons have been filled with what’s best described as a flat warm wind. Oddly, I don’t find it refreshing, as I do for most breezes. I still find a certain type of placidity brought by the wind, though the breeze isn’t calming by any means, and I don’t want to say that it brings a sense of apathy.

So every afternoon an odd dislocation sets in, and when not so removed, maybe one day I’ll find better words to describe it. But as for now, as a subsequent line in the BTS song “The Weather” advises, “Nobody's hoping for better days/ No one knows what to do./ You're okay in your secret place,/ No one bothering you,” I’ll leave it alone.

Work, as stated many times before, chugs along. It’s providing the continuity and pace that is necessary to allow me to cocoon myself to what’s going on down south. Occasionally, something that floats across the wires (or gets emailed to me from the security staff) affects my work. Largely, I can float along, in my office/bedroom enjoying the afternoon’s dislocation.

Also, as I’ve stated many times before, we’ve continued to wind down the project. So we’ve consolidated houses and offices. I’m taking over the wrap-up of another project as one of our expats heads home. That may involve some scurrying across town, so I may not be able to cocoon myself so much in my secret place. I’m definitely going to be bothered by more people too.

To buffer that (and I’m getting a little “escape envy” as coworkers [even the Chief is taking some, well deserved, time off] are coming or going), I’m trying to get out of town for a few days in a week or two. Go to Dubai just to leave here for a while. Not much of an exchange as it will be intolerably hot there with hot winds. But it will be not here, and that should be good for a few days.

So, in the end, I’m going to say it’s the weather that I blame for me not posting links to some articles and news on Afghanistan. Also, there seems to be a lot more news that is readily available to everyone. There were two recent articles on slate.com by Fred Kaplan. He dicusses the opium conundrum and NATO's Afghan strategy. There was also this good article by Ahmed Rashid, a book review that has a great “introduction” before getting to the review. Cut the man some slack on the self-serving aspect of writing an article that is 3/4s background and exposition, and 1/4 review, because it’s really good background and exposition.

Parts of Rashid’s article, which is largely on current issues and the climate here reminded me of a recent find, Peter Lamborn Wilson’s “travelogue”/article. Wilson, otherwise known as Hakim Bey for those familiar with Bey and all that entails, visited Afghanistan many times in the 60s and 70s and returned in 2003. This piece covers all that. Something struck when contrasting what was evoked in the above Rashid article with this Wilson quote:

The fact that the Taliban succeeded in taking over Afghanistan has always seemed to me a certain sign that the Afghanistan I knew was completely smashed to hell by the Russians and civil war. I never heard any Afghan, however pious, praise "fundamentalism" or mullah-inspired bigotry. No one had ever heard of this perversion of Islam, which then existed only in Saudi Arabia. Afghan Islam was very orthopractic, but also very pro-sufi; essentially, it was old-fashioned mainstream Islam. The idea of banning kite-flying would probably have caused hoots of incredulous laughter. It must have taken 20 years of vicious neo-imperialist ideological cultural murder and oppression to make Talibanism look like the least of all available evils.

In the last post, I noted that the discontinuity of this place was a tired cliché, especially as this place is and these people are constantly on the move. There may be even too much continuity and history here. In following my own advice, I'll search for something else. So maybe through “dislocation”—physically, temporally, cognitively, every which “-ly,” can this place be better understood. In the least, dislocation is helping me understand my current state here.

Late Again And Blaming Kabubble

2006-06-20T21:53:00.000+04:30

It really is that odd 30 extra minutes added in this timezone. That's the reason, a discontinuity...that maybe explains too much, or rather is such a ripe metaphor, it's cliche. Anyway...

Another 'new to me artist', that apparently blew the charts up in Europe and in G.B. late last summer, Mattafix. So I was in the US then. Whatever...minor point.

I just saw the video of "Big City Life" on the South African sat channel we get. And the thing is, there is so much wrong: the video was at times quite trite (the homeless man vignette, though the pregnant woman thing and the accountant/skateborder i just don't get), the lyrics are painfully simplistic (i.e. not unlike The Streets or Audio Bully, but there is nothing really personal nor just "fuck all" as they say, about the lyrics. This particular song is just generic and universal.), the carribiean/dancehall emcee is a bit forced, the male singing is downright bad with its atonal falsetto, and it totally cops the feel (I think the cymbals and bass line in the beginning) of Primitive Radio Gods "Phone Booth" song (had to google that, as I was chatting w/ a friend and neither of us could remember that info, but I remembered vague and odd snippets). And it's so mid-90s trip-hop, with a few 2-step beats thrown in.

But I love the song.

I can't stop listening to it. I've even grown to like the signing voice, terrible as it is.

I love this song.

Dowload/Listen to some of their stuff here.

Not Quite Quiet or Quite Not Quiet?

2006-06-14T18:05:00.000+04:30

The reason I still think it’s fairly quiet here, I’ll chalk it up to the distance and mountain passes between Kabul and Kandahar. Despite my few recent post titles proclaiming the quiet, and the music I've been listening to, the editors at Salon.com seems to think there is an "unquiet" here, or at least in the east. They even put it on Wednesday's front page. As for the news accounts, even the daily ones I receive from our security folks, I should be counting them in the same log, but I’ll still insist upon my claims of quiet. Here is the fairly pessimistic, but well written, article in Salon.com. Though to me, with my biases fully acknowledged, the tone seemed a bit sensationalist. Don’t ask me to justify that, else I’ll have to think about it more. And if you haven’t noticed, either by the dearth of posts, or the nature of the posts recently, I haven’t been thinking much about the situation here. Futher, if the sensationalism gets more public care/awareness of the situation here, I'll thank the press.

A lot has been going on, work wise, and the continuing extension and scale-back makes for a weird work environment. Luckily, of late my job has largely been operational. There are daily tasks to be done, things to be monitored, keep things running and such. So, though tedious at times, it keeps me moving. But in general, project wise, we’re in a glide pattern. And as we step into another three months, it’s somewhat frustrating. It’s especially frustrating because it seems like the whole of the donor/aid world is entering that pattern. Though I may be just imposing my sentiments, it nonetheless seems that the riots and the preceding and continuing escalation of military action and violence has a lot of groups and people in a "wait and see" attitude.

The problem--that is probably the last thing that is needed here. What is sorely needed is not only a redoubling of military/security measures, especially from the ANA (not just foreign troops), but also a redoubling of actual efforts and plans from aid groups (as the article linked above notes). Of course, the Afghan compact, and plans are all fine and dandy, with actual shovels to the ground being much better. Yet, the reality, as it seems to me, is that it will be a while before more can be done, physically. So it’ll at least be some good paperwork that needs to be done in the mean time.

Tangentially, yesterday, after getting our daily headline/news update via email, I was about to immediately post it. The humor of it struck me, and then it just got kinda disappointing. The irony of the first two headlines being concurrently true now gone, and the reality sinking in, my (essentially trivializing) motivation to share the headlines slipped away, thankfully. Now, I’ll still post the headlines, as I think they better capture the current moment here:

Afghan President Denies Forming Militias
June 11, 2006 -- Afghan President Hamid Karzai today denied media reports that he is forming militia forces in southern Afghanistan to fight the...

Afghan president: Tribal fighters will help battle Taliban
KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — Afghan President Hamid Karzai said Sunday his government will give weapons to local tribesmen so they can help fight the biggest increase in Taliban violence in...

Karzai says between rock and hard place on reforms
KABUL (Reuters) - Afghan President Hamid Karzai said on Sunday his government was trying to follow a moderate path in the face of competing pressures from the international community and his nation...

So as many are commenting now, and a few started sounding the warnings signals before, the situation is slipping further into factionalism. Motivations are becoming individual again, and though they may have been so all the while, actions towards such are now more transparent.

So mine is a sense of apathetic frustration towards the politics and such going on here. Thus the lack of news, well, rather sharing of news and posting and such. I still keep up with the news. I’m just not excited by or vested in much of what I read, news wise. I still have a job to get done, and will try to and hopefully give my best effort on that. I still see more than enough to inspire hope—the markets are still busy, construction still goes on, many folks aren’t at the point of running scared yet, and there is a recently launched CF/ISAF offensive in the south. So, maybe it’s that I just don’t care to hope much right now. We’ll leave hope for when the fighting slows down again.

In Desperation...

2006-06-11T15:07:00.000+04:30

...I'll fall back to a music post. Again via Salon.com's Audiofile (so yeah, this page has nearly become a proxy for that site...at least becoming one of my primary sources), I've been introduced to a new to me artist, Carl Hancock Rux.

His new album, on Thirsty Ear (which, with the few recent Blue Series releases I've really liked (El-P's jazz album and DJ Spooky's release), may be put the "must buy" label list), is really strong. A neo-soul/blues/jazz/hip-hop album, along the lines w/ the two other name drops above. Some of the piano work does strike some similarities w/ Matthew Shipp's efforts on El-P's album.

And then there is the singing. The voice isn't spectacular, but rather a really solid baritone. Rux's lyrics (especially, which makes sense given his apparent literary talents) and delivery make the album, and really fill in and carry the sparse compositions. Think Chocolate Genius, with less experimentation and more gospel influences and generally uplifting, rather then wretchedly miserable, sentiments and tone.

Here's the free song "Lies", and a "video/add/interview" off of the Thirsty Ear site. The album, "Good Bread Alley" is on iTunes as well.

Quiet As Curfew Should Be

2006-06-02T21:39:00.000+04:30

Today, thankfully, went with apparently no major incidents. At least I heard nothing, and heard of nothing.

The city, all of it, has been under curfew. And even during the day it seems a bit more subdued. But I haven't left the house. We are allowed to move around, essential travel only though.

Of my national coworkers that I've talked to, they seem apologetic and angry--at the riots and rioters and the US military for the accident, all of which is understandable. And with the lack of incidents and the anger towards the destruction of parts of the city, **we wont see any repeats in the immediate future.

**Hopefully, I meant to say.

Quiet As It Shouldn’t Be

2006-05-29T16:43:00.000+04:30

Today it didn’t sound like a 3rd world city. I could hear the birds singing and leaves rustling with the wind. This at 2pm here, when all one normally hears are bleating car horns, street chatter and the busy sounds of poverty’s overcrowding.

It was oddly serene. Odd because the serenity was continually broken by the sounds of passing rioters chanting, and exchanges of gun fire and whatever else was on hand and would explode. There would be the stillness of a shallow breeze. All the sudden broken by a few gun-shot claps and the swelling noice of a crowd passing. An exchange of gunfire echoing off the hills and buildings. And then quiet. Quiet like you never hear in the center of Kabul.

It’s been even quieter for the past few hours or so; a few sporadic gun shots at most, not full on exchanges. The cars are returning to the streets, a few at least, and not the military/police vehicles or ambulances-rather a few honking taxis and speeding motorcycles. I can hear my neighbors’ children’s voices again, venturing a few steps into their courtyards now.

I’ve heard a few reports that a couple expat guest-houses were ransacked and looted. The fire I saw this afternoon from our rooftop, which may have been one of those houses, is no longer raging though.

I imagine it will be quite a few days more of protests here and there—hopefully without gunfire. And Juma and the funeral processions will be the real test of whether the powder keg is still volatile.

I imagine it will be even longer before the anti-American/West/Karzai sentiments that exploded today will calm down. That is only if things don’t get worse here in Kabul and in the south.

In the least, I hope the evening will be serene, and not oddly so.

Better Said Than I Could Ever...

2006-05-26T12:08:00.000+04:30

Ahmed Rashid has a new article in the Yale Global Online.

The article is titled "A Taliban Comeback?" (I approve of the use of the question mark, and finally am praising an article headline!) Not surprisingly, given the author, it discusses the some of the issues I've been trying to touch on much more intelligently and articulately than I could ever. Obviously, I highly recommend it.

Learning Lessons

2006-05-21T17:51:00.000+04:30

I hopefully have learned mine, especially since the lesson was so fresh (surely to be later forgetten as always). So I wont critique the headline of this WaPo article.

The article discusses the same topics that showed up in the AP article mentioned a few posts below. The WaPo article, at least briefly, touches on some of the contending issues. The issues I wish were mentioned, at least briefly, in the AP article. Though the WaPo avoids discussing the warlord/druglord/gov't official issue in depth, which is understandable, given the complexity and contending issues.

So, yeah, a lot of deaths this past week in the fighting. The Taliban are surely making a showing. But whether or not it was just that, a show, was quickly mentioned at lunch. I'm venturing towards that camp, thinking it's a show, rather than a strengthening. Partly, because I suspect the Taliban were dispersed rather than destroyed over the past few years (the NWFP being the well known sanctuary), and with things boiling up in Balochistan and other areas bordering, it's an opportune time to come back across the border and stir things up. And Iraq has been dominating the headlines for way too long now, the Al-Qaida here and in Pakistan are probably feeling left out.

Interestingly, the WaPo article mentions a public disapproval of the ISAF/CF tactics in rooting out the militants here. That brings me back to the lesson part. As is also mentioned, there are more troops here now than there were in the initial invasion and attack. It seems like the lessons applied then are now forgotten. Moreover, the same lessons, which should have been reinforced in the Iraq fighting seem to be ignored. Namely, from what I've read, part of the success of the initial attack in Afghanistan was due to the "small-scale" and integration of outside forces with the allied Afghan parties, i.e. the heavy use of integrated special forces. The other part, of course, being the fact that there were allied parties, and a common enemy.

That may be the problem this time around, and the cause of the necessity for the heavy-handedness. In these recent lurches towards democracy, we've gotten, or at least seen, factionalism (which most likely reduces to the long-standing tribalism of the region) rather than pluralism. And so there may no longer be a broader alliance and dominant or sigular enemy, such as was apparently present before 2002.

Of course, my perspective as a contractor is highly limited, and only compounded by the compound walls, and the hills that completely obscure the horizon beyond Kabul.

We See Where That Went This Time

2006-05-16T21:35:00.000+04:30

A mere 6 or so hour later. It looks now like it'll be the end of September.

In no way a comment on Kunitz, but those recent sentiments below will now have to be short lived. At least the title of the poem will be more appropriate at the next round. So it'll be a new season and not home that will get me through dust storms and itchy eyes.

In continuing with the theme, I leave you with three (apparently appropriately) unremitting Robert Creeley pieces.

THERE

On such a day
did it happen

by happy conincidence
just here.

************************

HERE

Back a street is the sunken
pit of the erstwhile market
first century where the feral

cats now wait for something
to fall in and along the
far side is the place where

you get the bus, a broad
street divided by two
areas for standing with a

covered provision, etc. Antichi!
Zukofsky'd say--all of it
humbling age, the pitted, pitiful

busts someone's sprayed with blue
paint, the small streets laboring
with compacted traffic, the generous

dank stink floods the evening air
Where can we go we will not
return to? Each moment, somewhere.

****************************************

THERE

Hard to be unaddressed-
Empty to reflection-
Take the road east-
Be where it is.

The End of Something

2006-05-16T13:21:00.000+04:30

Work has calmed down a bit. We're back on that close-down/wrap-up cycle. For certain, some things are ending. Around the house there is certainly the air of something ending.

We'll see where that goes this time.

But, I've had a bit more free time. So, upon reading that Stanley Kunitz just passed away, I was able to go spend some time reading his stuff again. Here is the obit from the LA Times.

Below is one of his most famous.

Feels appropriate right now.

End of Summer

An agitation of the air,
A perturbation of the light
Admonished me the unloved year
Would turn on its hinge that night.

I stood in the disenchanted field
Amid the stubble and the stones
Amazed, while a small worm lisped to me
The song of my marrow-bones.

Blue poured into summer blue,
A hawk broke from his cloudless tower,
The roof of the silo blazed, and I knew
That part of my life was forever over.

Already the iron door of the North
Clangs open: birds,leaves,snows
Order their populations forth,
And a cruel wind blows.

There Is No Chicken, There Is No Egg

2006-05-09T22:46:00.000+04:30

Since figuring out which is which, or even if there is a chicken/egg situation here is impossible and fruitless. Further the situation is obviously cyclical and intertwined and well known, today, what AP put up is largely a non-story. So it's about the violence and joblessness, and has an odd title, at best.

Jobs, a lack of, lead young muslim men to terrorism. Terrorism makes it impossible for a stable and growing economy to take root. Thank you for stating it again. Except this time the AP writer didn't belabor, let alone mention the point. It drifted there, nonetheless, and was more than implied in the quotes.

I would have loved to see the journalist mention the kick-up in the poppy eradication programs of this season, and of late. Some research on how that is effecting the job market would be interesting too. Any of the Afghan folks or -philes see anything about that of late? I cant find anything.

E has a post about an interesting, odd and altogether sad incident in the Afghan Parliment. As terrible as it is, I did chuckle when I read the article off the listserv. But I was nodding my head side-to-side to, not tilting my head backwards. Oh yeah, I seem to be forming a habit of late...the incident involved a very courageous Afghan Woman MP getting attacked for her comments during session.

And relating to the above violence thing and "the big O" (as I'm now going to refer tothe spring offensive...ok maybe not, we'll see) I got this tid-bit today:

Rocket/Mortar fire: 08 May, Kabul Province, Kabul City, Presidential Palace Area – (0730), a typical fruit and vegetable cart, loaded with eight 57mm helicopter rockets on a remote controlled launcher, was discovered near the Presidential Palace....a disconnected control wire caused the remote control to malfunction...instructed to be on the lookout for carts, bicycles and motorbikes left unattended.

Eight 57mm rockets, on a fruit cart?? Look below, they aren't the smallest thing (that picture is/was actually a weapons store in Maymana). Eight...I definately woulda seen that smoke plume from my roof.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming....

2006-05-07T22:50:00.000+04:30

Folks—dear, dear, loyal folks—sorry about those last two tangential posts. Excuse my vagrancy. Temporary as it was.

So now a post about music, oh wait...this blog was never supposed to be about...well never mind...

J---, who probably doesn’t read this blog anymore because of all the annoying music posts, pointed me to yet another band I’ve missed the past few years, and an album from last year that completely flew under my radar. (I blame it on my ineptitude and utterly un-hip High School friends that drag me down. I surely don’t blame it on J, besides J doesn’t even read this anymore so blaming him would do no good. N-mode, can you paint that crying tears mime make-up on my face and I’ll do that ‘tearing your own heart-out and crushing it’ act right here.)

Oh the album. The band is Stars and the album is “Set Yourself On Fire” (maybe I should go all performance artsy and mime the sewing of my heart to a string, raise my arm as if I’m holding the heart on a string, hang my head, mime that one movement light a zippo trick, and set my heart aflame. Get it myself = my heart. So profound.)

Beautiful and restrained chamber indie-pop, even when they go all grandiose on your ass. Dizzying and dazzling at times, especially after a few listens. So they’re up there w/ The National now. Take them, remove the ‘sobering up after a one-night stand while away on a business trip’ pathos, and keep the regret and misery. As the p-fork review put it, it's "the moments right after you hit your emotional nadir and start getting your shit together." Not as cacophonous as Arcade Fire, but as swelling and climactic.

Go get the album and listen to ‘Reunion’ over and over and over and over...

P.S. I hope all the Mudville Gazette readers enjoyed this post. Seriously though, welcome aboard.

Tattletaling on the Taliban

2006-05-04T10:46:00.000+04:30

I'm going to stay after class and tell Ms. Condi that the Taliban, espcially with their more recent changes in operational style, are...umm...terrorists by any (of the many) standards the current administration has employed. They've killed civilians for political purposes.

In trying to improve my foot speed to dodge bullets when I'm kidnapped and my Taliban captors are shooting at my feet making me dance the jig for their own entertainment, I was looking up Salsa steps and came across this. At least the Taliban will be playing some hip-shaking rhythms for me.

The Taliban aren't terrorists. See, the State Dept. seems to think such.

"In the latest State Department report last Friday, one item went unnoticed by the press, until now: the US doesn't classify the Taliban as terrorists -- and haven't for the last six years.

The find was made by CSMonitor.com's Tom Regan. The US does classify other groups on the US hit list as terrorists -- such as Hezbollah, al Qaeda and Hamas."

Though I'm not expecting consistency on this front. I'm not consistent in my own "definition" of "terrorism" or "terrorists". I don't believe it's even appropriate in foreign relations. But come on now, 6 years running? All the while, as iocaste212 points out here, the Earth Liberation Front gets tried under domestic terrorism laws and put on the DHS terrorist list?

I can see why before 9/11 the Taliban weren't put on the terrorist list. Largely, they weren't on our radar as national security threat. And the Clinton and Bush administrations had other political/economic motivations to engage with them. So is the current reason for leaving them off the list simply to justify the current administration's view that Afghanistan is a decreasing threat to US national security? That we've won the "war on terrorism" here? That we can pull our combat troops out of the southern parts of this country and put in NATO troops with more restrictive rules of engagement?

I'm gonna go watch that Colbert bit again.

The Revolution Will Not Be Motorcycled

2006-05-03T17:05:00.000+04:30

Finally, Afghanistan makes some front pages, or at least one, as noted by Slate.com’s TP. NYT has a summary article on the annual the Taliban spring offensive, which every reader here is familiar with now. The article paints a good picture of how this offensive is a bit different than previous ones. This one not just consisting of rogue or guerilla attacks, but rather offensives for control of areas of the country.

TP also mentions an older news item, the ban on motorcycles in Ghazni, as they are often a Taliban mode of transportation. (The preceding link's article links to an IWPR article.) The news on that ban had made its rounds here after it was issued, one article, if I recall correctly, even including a quote extolling a certain powerful Mullah’s ability to ride 2-up and hit his targets w/ an RPG. But, the subsequent ban by the Taliban on all motor vehicles in the same area and the effectiveness of that ban is news to me. Though that article that discusses it is a few days old, I haven’t seen anything referencing it (haven’t looked hard though). The effectiveness of that ban, and the quotes are quite foreboding.

A few rockets and kidnappings are one thing, and even an increase in their frequency, though indicating a rising threat, wasn’t terribly concerning to me, given a lot of the current political and military context. The Taliban being able to shut down a whole region of the country, indicating their effective control of the area, is quite a different matter. The former only requires a safe house here and there or a couple of caves to duck into. Keeping all traffic at bay shows that the Taliban are the de facto authority in that area. Whether true or not, meaning whether or not they have the means and ability to be the de facto authority in the region, it doesn’t matter, as the locals seem to believe it.

That belief is the primary concern for me. I recall often reading coverage after the Taliban was ousted where the sentiment often expressed was to the effect of “we didn’t want them, but what could we do?”—in other words, a sentiment expressing a belief in the de facto authority of the Taliban—a sentiment of hopelessness. I hope it’s too soon for hopelessness. And of course, there is the actual possibility and fact that support for the Taliban is rising again.

Join the Masses! Join the Multitude!

2006-05-02T21:20:00.000+04:30

Get yourself on The Ark!

...fine, I sincerely apologize for that. I just couldn't help myself. It was just so...I know, I know...OK, I'm sorry. Deeply sorry.

But the are that good. I'm moving to Sweden and becoming a groupie. A free track here.

But just buy the album.

If the world was right, "Hey Kwanogoma!" AND "Clamour for Glamour" AND "One of Us Is Gonna Die Young"(the free song above) would be the song of the summer.

Thank me in the comments.

My Pinko Card Expired...

2006-05-01T23:11:00.000+04:30

...obviously, as is evidenced by the fact that it's nearly midnight (here), and I haven't put up a happy May Day post. I'll call it a strategic choice, which my safety in mind, seeing as there is generally a strong distaste for those even remotely associated with Marx. And that distaste comes from two opposing groups here, one well armed, the other crazy. Getting those two factions to unite as they hunt me down in the hills of Hazarajat wouldn't be good. Nonetheless, my 18 year-old self would be ashamed of my 28 year-old self.

Perhaps more importantly (and in dismissing the holiday celebrated around the world), and definately quite interestingly, as N-mode points out, today is Natonal Law Day. And yeah, so he's right on how lame it is. (Any significance to them choosing May Day to celebrate Law Day in the US?) BUT, he also found that the ABA site lets you buy Law Day t-shirts.

Take a look at those law-day revolutionaries. Soon the masses will be taking the streets and chanting "Our heritage of liberty under the law and the rule of law makes our democracy possible!", as the ABA suggests. And you don't even have to silk screen these t-shirts in the basement of your punk-house.

One click-shopping...take that 18 year-old self!

P.S. Completely foiled by blogger, or perhaps the powers that be conspiring to make a point, some javascript error wouldn't let me publish the post on May Day...

I'll write something about Kabul in the...eh...nevermind.

2006-04-26T16:35:00.000+04:30

I’ve never really been tempted to start a myspace site. It’s bad enough that I’ve entered the realm of bloggers, but myspace is a whole new low (unless, of course, you’re just trying to get some). But they have those band sites, such as BTS’s, and more importantly you can stream music.

This is only now pertinent cause I found a theme song. And this is only relevant cause I’m name-dropping another new album. I finally got around to downloading the new Madlib album. I know, I know, it’s a shameful fact. I mean, the dude named a pseudonym after me, and I don’t have enough gratitude to buy each and every thing he puts out (and dude has diarrhea of the DAT) as soon as he puts it out. Add to that the fact that he’s pure genius, and the best beat maker (I mean, konducta, beat konducta) on the face of the earth. The best.

So...too little too late, but, he’s released a new album, ‘Beat Konducta Vol. 1-2: Movie Scenes’. More importantly, he’s dropped the track "Electric Company (Voltage-Watts)" (warning, that’s the iTunes link). The deep ‘electric hum’ that serves as a bass line, the clicking train track beat that evokes a meter switches deep in the generator, the interspersed warning chime/bell, and the monotone 50’s ‘electric company’ voice sample...all that, make for a perfect soundtrack to the current work.

It’s not even the best track on the album.

P.S. There is even a track with cowbell on it! Come on everyone, all together now: I need more...

Circling Towards Summer

2006-04-23T16:52:00.000+04:30

It’s hard to have your nerves frayed when the weather is as amazing as it is currently in Kabul. But I think a lot of the expats on our team are in such a state; partly from the project and work itself, and partly from the upswing in attacks and violence.

There was this past week’s rocket attack close to the embassy. Luckily the house I’m in is quite some distance from there, 2-3km or so. I was up at the time and went to look at the smoke plume with a housemate that woke up. I think my skills at sleeping through earthquakes would extend to rocket attacks too. So it’s reassuring to know that my housemate in the room across from is a light sleeper.

Then just a few days ago, our security director walked in to dinner a few minutes late, reporting that there was another attack. A co-worker in the house quite close to the embassy and ISAF had called him reporting a blast and hearing ISAF sound the alarm. (We found out later it was just a gas cylinder that had gone off.) Our Chief immediately started discussing and working out the logistics of getting all the staff into the (safer, distance from target wise) house I live in. Then after about two minutes, and a few sighs, we all carried on, thick with sarcasm, insulting and ribbing each other and everything else as usual. The next day, when the other co-workers were to move to our house, not one decided to bother.

I’d like to think that decision was made because the spring weather brings hope.

P.S. In the past few months, whenever I would hear, or hear about attacks or gunfire or such, my thoughts would always soon race to the nationals and locals that live with this in much different circumstances than us well-walled expats, and moreover many of whom who lived through much worse for many years. I realized just a few days ago, even after reading about the Afghan national that was killed in the recent attack, that I didn’t pay much mind to the national’s/local’s situation. I’m far from settled on how I feel about this fact. Since in many ways, it was a patronizing empathy, but in the least it was an empathy, however misplaced or misguided or mis-rooted it may have been. And it’s absence implies some callousness and/or complacency towards certain things. Yet those two things, in then end, are somewhat useful in this environment.

... next time I write a paragraph like the above, I’m just gonna do a big circle flow diagram, with an appropriate legend. It’ll be easier to read and likely make the callousness point that much more strongly...

Seeking Srinagar

2006-04-17T12:56:00.000+04:30

On this last visit to Pakistan, my father, mother and I went to Faislabad/Lailpur. My dad had studied and taught there years ago. Had he stayed in Pakistan, he would have likely taught there for years on end, as his classmates and former co-workers who he went to go visit there did. They asked him to come back for a month for a stint as a visiting professor. This, which he is contemplating, launched the line of conversation about why he left, and emigrating and such between him and his old friends (who have children abroad now, and have visited them).

This, of course, brought the conversation to a salient point for me, and my choice to come back to this part of the world to work, and my contemplating finding a job for a few years around these parts. My dad’s friends, of course, thought it was somewhat ironic that I chose to come back here to work, Kabul too rather than Lahore or Karachi or Dehli or Banglore or such. So one of his friends decided to relate a joke he heard second-hand from his son when he last visited him in America.

After the trip back to the ‘watan’ and a recent conversation with a friend about somewhat similar throes they find themselves in, the issue has become more prominent. With the rising of India and the subcontinent, the rebuilding of Afghanistan, I’m sure a lot more folks are in similar straits too, as the options and opportunities for and benefits and value in returning for many 2nd gen folks have increased in these parts (parallels probably apply to China too as one of my college buddies is pursuing that right now). And I think this situation is separate from the “reverse brain-drain” of foreign students in the west electing to not pursue a life in the west. This is particular to 2nd gen folks electing to return to their “watan” or “Kashmir” (as Hamesha related a wonderfully apt pathan proverb in a recent comment).

The joke (retold with my special ability to make everything not funny) goes:
A man had been in paradise for some “time” now; all rivers of milk and honey, rolling green hills, gardens, serenity and peace and beauty. One day, kinda bored of all this routine paradise, he goes for a stroll. He came up the gates of paradise, and caught a glimpse of the other side. Raucous fun they were having in Hell; all partying and dancing and gambling and films and women and drinking—all things debauchery and fun.

So he asked the gate-keeper for a visit, and was told to put in an application for a visit. The application snakes its way up the bureaucratic machinery, finally to the higher authority, stamped and approved. Tourist visa in hand, the man crosses the gates, and has an un-righteously good time in hell—pure fun and enjoyment and rewards. The pleasures are endless. But his tour comes to an end and he leaves. Returning to oh so serene paradise, boredom, and placidity and all. He decides then and there that after a life of solemnity and steadfastness on earth, it’s time to have some fun. So his immigrant’s visa is filed. This one goes straight to God, who calls him in for his immigration interview. Only one question is asked, “are you sure you want to emigrate?” The man says yes. So he packs up his things, says his good byes and crosses the gates.

Lo and behold, it’s hell—fire and brimstone hell, demons and devils, boulders on the backs and lashes, serpents and servitude. So one day he finally makes it back to the gate-keeper and he asks, what happened to the hell that he first visited. The gate-keeper immediately starts laughing and says, “my friend, the first time you came, you came on a tourist visa, and this time my friend, you’ve come on an immigrant’s visa.”

Now my father’s friend related this joke in talking about immigrating to America, and in suggesting to my father that perhaps it’s time to come back to Pakistan. My father responded that yes, he does think about returning occasionally, and was even thinking about it on this trip back. He immediately followed that with saying (in Urdu with a poignancy that can never be truly translated) “sir, we must remember that this time, I’m in Pakistan on a tourist’s visa.” Heads nodded side to side, and a laugh was had all around.

As I think about the next few years, I need to remember what my father said that day.

Making The Runs

2006-04-16T13:52:00.000+04:30

And I mean that in every sense of the word "runs". Got sick from the wedding food the day before I was to leave. So I did get to spend some quality time with the parents and sis as I was bedridden. Followed by a 4 hour car ride up to Islamabad at 2 am. I caught the flight, and my stomach survived.

Had a wonderful time. Saw the family, almost the whole lot of them. And there is a whole lot of them.

Welcomed some more folks into the family. Some crazy desis, and some crazy "pakhtoons" (two cousins got married in one week). When I saw the barat of one wedding coming and it was about 10 men in white shalwars and black waistcoats, for a second, I thought I was back in Kabul. It was urdu/punjabi and pushto bantered all around. Got to see some places I hadn't been in 15 years (my dad's childhood house).

Most importantly, my mom brought me my new speakers. They are divine. I can actually hear bass lines now.

Perhaps even more importantly, I really had a sense of ease when coming back to Kabul this time. I was not only happy, but even a bit relieved to be back, the kind of relief you get when coming back home. I think I'm really gonna miss this place (or more correctly the compound and the little else I see) when I finally have to leave.

Ashes to Ashes, Diesel to Dust

2006-04-13T12:48:00.000+04:30

So a few days in the Watan...my Watan (homeland, I believe in Dari or Pustho). A few days to go. Its been dusty, and not too hot, just around 100F. Pleny of donkey carts, rikshaws, lorries with beautiful decorations, beautiful to someone at least...and dust. Plenty of dust. And dancing monkeys. Ahh Punjab. Yesterday I was in Faislabad (aka Lailpur) that is punjab central, even had a tandoori pratha. But luckily, not too much on the deisel fumes. My cigarettes are tasting funny here.

Untill a few days...q.a.

Luckily We Have Armed Guards

2006-04-07T20:51:00.000+04:30

Else, my off-key tone-deaf singing, and the impending rioting of our neighbors would be an issue. Our secruity director and his 9 is a concern. But he wouldn't shoot a man with a grin as big as mine is right now, I hope.

So more Built To Spill:

Doug Martsch is around the 40 mark after all, so I guess it's not surprising that he chose VH1 over MTV. VH1 is supposedly streaming the new album. Frustratingly, it wont play for me.

But, alas, all is not lost. I'm quite content with either streaming 'Conventional Wisdom' from the BTS myspace site.

And since I have some concern for my coworkers and our shared bandwidth, I've been listening to 'Liar' (a demo, I believe cause of the vocal reverb effect on the beginning). Find it here. Found it thanks to this site.

Hopefully Warner Bros. realized that I'll be in Lahore on the Apr. 11th release date and is shipping copies to the music stores there. Well...at least there is iTunes.

A minor change

2006-04-07T01:12:00.000+04:30

So on the sidebar section "Kabul Blogs" has been changed to the more appropriate "Kabul & Related Blogs."

And two new blogs have been thrown up, Hamesha's and Home In Kabul.

Owing to Acknowledgement

2006-04-05T10:16:00.000+04:30

sorryPart of the, umm, inspiration for the last post was a few conversations, recent reading, and a comment posted by Hamesha pointing me to Easterly.

And today I came across this article in Salon.com, an interview with Easterly about his new book.

P.S. And in acknowledging my complete failings in acknowledging, VP pointed me to a review of Easterly's new book in the Economist a few days back. Unfortunately it's subscription only. Also, in the post below, I think I said I was going to talk about the aggravated situation in the south, and the rising violence. VP has recently posted on that already, so I'll just point you there for how that affects working conditions here, especially as she's more directly affected by it than I am.

P.P.S: VP just posted the review here.

Owing to Inspiration

2006-04-04T22:39:00.000+04:30

The point of the title, since I’m nothing if not all about titles, is that I was partly correct in my fears last week, as related in the post below. Yes, the post from a week, and one day, ago. Though the inspiration may be weak, and convoluted and perhaps not even coherent...yes, as in the post below, written a week and one day ago...I’ve wanted to avoid, posting out of pressure to post. (I think that is the third time, at least, that I’ve said something of that sort, so the excuse may be worn thin this time...after all...”fool me one...”). Inspiration has run dry. Running on diesel fumes...hehe. (Oh, I think only I get that joke, but I tell you it’s a great pun relating to my new post/position. Great great pun. Funny. Heh, jokes...). Be forewarned: What follows is another uninspired and, consequently, uninspiring post.

So the fear was that the new position would be filling my time, keep me busy, and become uneventful. It has somewhat happened, besides one larger, and over-riding project in it. The project, more or less, is to come up with a plan to get rid of my job. Brilliant, no? If the job itself was inspiring, the task would be a lot more difficult. So that is where part of the inspiration is going to have to come from, in making this role look sexy. But nothing is sexy here, on the ground. (Somehow I feel odd using that adjective, sexy, while in the land where the Taliban is launching the spring offensive...more on that later.)

Inspiration seems to be often lacking. And that is probably and often true for most jobs or efforts or things that is billed or commonly perceived as sexy. We all know where the devil is. And the devil, well, he gets two titles, the lord boredom and the lord of tedium. But the naïve, rescue the world from itself folks (of which I’m surely one of) over here all come for or with some inspiration of some sort. Perhaps desperation too, but often enough, the two are intrinsically linked.

The common result, it seems, is malaise or melancholy. And maybe that is a good thing in the IntDev world, as it is normalizing to a large extent. Yet with the generally difficult working conditions (especially or maybe particular to post-conflict hot zones) the sentiments seem to compound on themselves. Tragically to the point of disdain. So I think that was, or is, some of my current issue. And part of the reason for the sentiment that a kind commentor on the last post warned me against.

These sentiments are likely quite common, well known (I believe they even have head-docs over here for the expats for this exact reason, i.e. burnout), and well documented and discussed. Even at the macro level, the debate about the IntDev world and the various issues faced inside and by it is in many ways an extension of this issue. Should this field be about an inspired Millennium Development Goals eradicating poverty and poor starving children with distended bellies the world over? Or should this field be about a pragmatic market driven marginal return economical efficiency? And just as it’s difficult, if not nearly impossible, to find a balance between inspiration and normalcy (is there a better term?) at the individual level here, I fear the same may be true at the macro level. Part of the complicating issue, I believe, is the structures. In the structuralism sense. In the institutional sense.

Now a friend just railed and mocked me for a books that I recently picked up to read(Negri’s “Empire” and “Multitude”). He commenting on the book’s calling for a neo-marxist “revolution” by the masses and general neo-marxist label, or title I say, applied to the authors. The perfect and priceless quip by him: “Save me, Neo!” But the books may have some relevancy, as in general, I think this field is wrought by structural issues, and coming to a structural crisis.

But that observation is obvious, and trite, and common over the past several years. I’m just finding it all that much more true and pressing as it’s becoming personal, and not just theoretical. Partly, my just under 6 months here have brought me to that point, at this point (and here’s to hoping the state is temporary), but that point came across glaringly when I was in a meeting with a colleague that has been here for about 18 months. He was almost at the point of apathy, almost, but not quite as he’s a better man than that.

So I’ve made my offerings to the altar of inspiration. Paid up, and owing nothing, I hope. And the bounties have been received, but almost all outside of the job. New inspiration has struck in some recent music acquisitions (found some more, and free The National videos on line, and got the new Ghostface album, and finally got the J-Dilla album, and hopefully the new Lips album will be good (I’m already in love with “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song”) and I’m resoundingly sure the new BTS album will be brilliant (in the british sense) and some good books (despite well said quips) and I get out of town in a few days to see the Fam who will be in Pakistan for some weddings.

Oh yeah, and the weather has been really great, too. I put a chair on the patio right outside my room to breath in diesel fumes during drags from the cigarette...it’s spectacular. Sometimes I even inspire myself.

Zoe ka mo wa I've been sleepin' all day...I'm called Mr. Wombat/Oh oh oh oh...

2006-03-27T00:13:00.000+04:30

The week has been eventfully uneventful. I fear this will be the norm of the next three months, and the new role. I am back to being in charge of a few people, and am rediscovering my issues with managing people. I should write an ontological discourse on the reduction of the other required in the process of management and thus file a complaint on my new role and the imposition of reductionism upon a newly ‘liberated’ nation-state. I would get fired, if one can get fired for absurdity. So it’s not that bad. But it is tedious. Rather they are tedious; other people that is. So it’s back to that complaint or issue I had discussed several months ago about being in an odd position as a 2nd generation American of a regional ethnicity. And since I’ll be doing this role for a longer time, I have more to consider, I think, that being longer term working relationships.

So there has been a lot going on in Afghanistan, as the news in the US is surely reporting. And the fighting in the south isn’t making my job any easier. I may get fired (that being the running theme of this post, my insecurities with my new role...and absurdity), if one could be absurdly fired for border fighting between tribes and nations.

We’ve also just about finished our reduction for the extension, and the dynamics of dinner (and the house) have dramatically changed. For the past few days, we’ve only had 5 people at dinner, down from a max of 14, and all this in the past few weeks. So there is that odd transition period where the roles will shift, and the dynamics shift and settle. So far, the conversations have been absurd. The dinner conversations at our house, through out my stay here so far, have usually devolved into the absurd, but usually start with some actual discussion of work and such. Now we skip the trivialities. Part of that has to do with the fact that much of the work we were doing before continues on, except with less than half the expat staff (we found a way to keep the majority of the national staff), so I think the consensus is to just completely revel in absurdity. It all makes sense then.

And so the theme music has been The Police for the past few days, and will likely continue to be (this is just a usual spring habit of mine though). In all my years of listening to them, and believing they are one of the best all time rock bands (I can’t believe I never burned the box set, but luckily I did burn Outlados, Reggatta, (and less thankfully) Ghost...i may have to iTunes Zenyatta and Synchronicity...) I never really appreciated how much the band reveled in the absurd. I mean beside the absurdity of some of the compositions themselves (and the brilliance in making them actual pop songs, catchy as hell ones at that), and the few obvious Copeland or Summers tracks, the likes of “Peanuts” or “Be My Girl Sally“, all of The Police seems to reek of absurdity explicitly, or in the least as an strong undertone, even the instrumentals such as “Masoko Tanga” (one of their best songs ever (along with at least 35 other songs), though Sting must have been high as a kite when he sung that the first time, and purportedly came up with the “lyrics”/jibberish** on the spot...by the way does anyone have a live version or heard a live version of the song??? Share dammit!).

So the point being, besides getting fired, is that I think I’m becoming one of those “1st worlders” that think the “3rd worlder” is simply absurd. I hate those people.

** I did find this note at a site when looking for the "lyrics" to “Masoko Tanga”:

(From here)

“NOTE: These lyrics, provided by Jake Keel, were included with the original Japanese vinyl release of Outlandos d'Amour. The Japanese distributer just payed an English speaker to interpret the lyrics, but they are as close to "official" as has been found. The lyrics also contained a footnote warning that the song illustrates the negative effects of drug use.

Actually, I read that Sting was under hypnosis when he "sang" this song. A famous illusionist was in Surrey Sound Studios when they recorded this, so they decided to mess around with that opportunity (that also explains those weird basslines that he's playing).”

On Offering

2006-03-26T08:33:00.000+04:30

for something between atonement and attunement:

Some MP3s from Joe Purdy's last album. Go check him out.

Naw Roz Mubarak

2006-03-20T23:28:00.001+04:30

The Gov't of Afghanistan (GoA) has declared 4 days off, Tuesday through Friday. Much, if not most of our national staff is taking a fair amount of time off. Part of my new role involves the GoA employees, so I wont have that to do. I don’t know if we actually get the day off. No one does. Our Chief even asked us at the table if we knew if we had the day off. Yeah, I was tempted to say something, but then I realized I would just get some riposte about my sleeping habits. Smartly, I think, I bit my tongue.

I’m taking on a new role, during the extension. It wont be fun, but at least it will be clear what, exactly, I’m doing here in Kabul (though I really hope to continue doing the random and oddball work). The new role diminishes the existential angst a bit, but for the part that the job entails a fair amount of frustration. The person I took over for did an astounding job, and turned the project around. Stepping in becomes all that much worse. And as he was departing, turning over mounds of files, and sage words of wisdom he noted the best part of the job—all the responsibility and no authority.

And so the New Year begins.

There was an article in the Beeb about a trial here in Afghanistan, currently being tried. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. Especially given the Taliban upsurge and potential ramifications there with the outcome of the trial. I feel no envy for the judge in figuring out both the legal aspects here, the application of Sharia, balancing the Afghan Constitution (particularly Article 2, clause (2), stating “Followers of other religions are free to exercise their faith and perform their religious rites within the limits of the provisions of law,” and Article 3 stating “In Afghanistan, no law can be contrary to the beliefs and provisions of the sacred religion of Islam.”) Sharia is used here, and more often than not, from what I’ve learned second hand, and only with respect to criminal cases (which I don’t even think this is, at least I hope it isn’t), the Hanafi School.

Given the political climate, I wonder if such will determine this case. Especially since so much foreign media attention has already been thrown on the case. As the foreign interest really pulls both ways (the desire to portray a modern Islamic State respecting religious freedom, versus the potential fuel to the fire provided by such a decision, and surely to be capitalized upon by the Taliban & fundamentalists). God knows which way this case will go. And I haven’t read much about the defendant’s representation. In fact, I feel some sympathy for those (if there is anyone) representing the defendant. I envy no one involved with this case, and would think it best if the case is simply thrown out. That fallout would seem to be the easiest to manage, politically, rather than a decision of guilt either way. Further, that would establish the best precedent too.

Oh yeah, finally the violence has approached a bit closer, not physically though. About two weeks before the Macedonians from Ecolog were kidnapped and later killed, one of then was at our house for dinner. I have to go meet with his coworkers soon for work stuff.

Ahh, the New Year. Somehow Jens Lekman hasn’t been cutting it as the necessary soundtrack. Instead it’s been mid/late 90s DC-ish punk. Monorchid, one of those “criminally underappreciated” bands, has been on heavy rotation (a free MP3 I just found, a classic to boot, or this could just be nostalgia), as has been Sleepy Time Trio, Maximillian Colby, Fugazi, 400 Years, and for light fare, the Pee Tanks.

Blissful college/post-teen angst driven hope is replacing existential/european angst. Sure, it is pining for the salad days. But it is spring and the rains are fresh, and a new year is here in this land...no better time for such.

I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Naw Roz Mubarak.

Bate Your Breaths...

2006-03-16T23:51:00.000+04:30

...no longer. The long awaited post is finally here. Music. What you all should be listening to. And not one recommendation is for Camp Lo. So first, where P-fork was on spot: Jens Leckman. I’m a latecomer on this, and grabbed both albums, the better album being ‘Oh You’re So Silent Jens’, collecting his LPs released on Secretly Canadian. And yes, if you love Magnetic Fields (vocals and all...), you’ll dig him, and he holds his own throwing some Morissey and Belle in their for flavor. The track on repeat is “The Wrong Hands.” But the album has become the morning listen. And then there is Tapes ‘n Tapes too. So far they are song by song, but I’m warming up to the album, ‘The Loon’, as a whole. I can’t stop listening to “Jakov’s Suite”, though it needs to be loud, mind you, and a few of the other tracks, particularly “10 Gallon Ascots”. The reviews all name-check the influences, from current to no more than 10 years old, but in general they got a good art-punk edge to them. Their webpage (though it appears to be down at this writing) has a few free downloads, particularly good is “’50s Parking”.

I’ve been watching the first season of “Lost” and after one of the episodes, I had to run out and track down the closing track, “Wash Away(reprise)”, by Joe Purdy. Though, now I prefer the original steel string version. They miked Joe incredibly close and pushed the steel string to the back of the mix, to a nice effect. The album “Julie Blue” (the only one available on iTunes) is quite solid, and the more common morning album, sunny morning that is, and it’s springtime. Nice country folk, finger-picking mandolin and all. And yes, the reprise of “Wash Away” will remind some of Israel KamakaWTF’s (ukulele, mind you) version of “Somewhere.../...Wonderful World.” But the album isn’t trite (nor is Israel’s cover though). Joe’s no beautiful tenor, but he has a pleasant wispy voice (a bit forced at times), and simple, straight lyrics, such as on one of his best tracks, “I Love the Rain the Most”. The album isn’t consistent, but has enough gems to more than make it worth your while, and the recording is stripped down and nice, but not that clean.

And after watching the ad posted on Marty Z’s website, I picked up the song to that too. Decent acoustic indie-folk, nothing special, but if you can't get enough of Kings of Convenience pick up the album, ‘Veneer’ by Jose Gonzalez. The track, “Heartbeat” (which is actually a cover of another Nordic band), used for the commercial is really good, and the hook is catchy as all hell. Gonzalez is a great guitarist, but the melodies are a bit lacking and the multi-tracked vocals and Nick Drakesque delivery hurt the songs with the lyrics being weak. The intimacy doesn’t work.

And lastly, everyone who made it this far should go get “Ta Det Lungt” by Dungen, if you haven’t already, as the album was released some time last year. At least, buy the song “Panda” and for the 5 minutes of searing guitar riffs, “foreign” lyrics and swirling percussion, throw up a double-handed devil’s horns while thrusting around your room. Shut the door and draw the curtains first though. Co-workers/housemates will laugh at you. Especially the second time they catch you.

Well, enough of what all the folks in D.C. missed most about me.

Oh and a side-note, now that nobody is reading, some interesting (to me) and relevant stuff. I’ve been meaning to post this for quite some time, but have been, well embarrassed and shamed. I am a Science Friday addict...and have never donated to them. Yet luckily, through the beauty of podcasts, I have kept my addiction. So about a month ago, they did a report on the engineers electrifying Iraq. Rather, rebuilding what was probably a very well developed electrical system before, you know, the last 15 years or so of bombings, wars, and sanctions. One of our expat team members recently went to Tikrit to work there. Though they face a much more risky situation than us, a lot of the issues and difficulties they face there parallel the work here. The descriptions of the situation, and stories of the engineering and other issues were in many regards similar to the situation on the ground here. This may be common in many post-conflict zones, I'm guessing, and even in just poor countries, but I'm too green to make that call. So if you care, the MP3 version, and if you insist, RA and WMV versions can be found here.

"Don't Worry About the Government"

2006-03-13T23:25:00.000+04:30

Blinders or a burried head? Those are my options as I see them. And, I think rather than dark shaded sunglasses, those are more likely the options when trying to figure out the US administration's motivations. That is, if any motivations or sensibility are there. I just can't really believe that there is an absence of motivation or vision. The people in the Oval Office are just too damn intelligent. And I'm not one to default to conspiracy, or accusations of starting a Halliburton Empire. But I'm coming close.

And so I think David Byrne had the correct insights on the Gov't with the lyrics from the song referenced above in the title. The sentiments and attitude expressed, both about my own life and towards the gov't, may be the only way to respite.

So read this article in the WaPo. It touches tangientially, or rather brings to light, some of the issues I was trying to bring up in a post below about Bush's visit to the Sub_Conti, i.e. about why Bush should have a differing attitude toward Pakistan rather than India, how India is taking a much smarter approach to the region and how, in the end, Bush needs to do a lot more to fix the situaion with Pakistan and thus, and concurrently, with Afghanistan. But he wont. Though I don't think the accusations made by the Minister quoted in the WaPo article are rock solid, I fear that there is some truth to the underlying sentiments. I believe there is some truth to sentiment, and share it.

But I was far from the location of the bombing, luckily, and safely tucked away under armed guard is a well walled compound. So..."I wouldn't worry about me, don't you worry about me, don't you worry about meeeee...."

And on the 6th Day...

2006-03-11T17:26:00.000+04:30

I recall, or have made up, a story I once heard or read about Afghanistan. I’m hoping someone can verify this for me. I remember it being from some TV special or documentary on this country, from years ago, most likely from the early ‘90s. As I recall an old man was relating a joke/proverb about Afghanistan, something to the effect that after God had finished creating the world, on the 6th day, he took all the left over rubble and debris and dumped it here.

After yesterday’s excursion, I can see why they tell that story. Now, there is the literal interpretation of that story, in terms of the debris and detritus all over Kabul, and of course, that is true for many third world cities. The characteristic overflowing trash lining the streets, the stink of sewage and smells of street food intermixed, and the overwhelming dust.

Kabul has the Silk Road buzz, the post-war twist and the faint ghosts of the Ruskis for its own particular version. But I think the story wasn’t meant to evoke this particular scene. It wasn’t meant as a post-modern parable of globalization, the Cold War, and the post-conflict zone. I think it was meant to be about the mountains and harsh landscape. Most of us are familiar with such, at least through the TV and news. But as always, witnessing it in person is dramatically different.

So I had, likely, the best day I’ve had here. And all we did was take an hour and a half drive outside the city. This one-day excursion was as relaxing, if not more, than my RnR to Goa. And if I could do this trip, or others similar (as there are many places to see not far out of the city), with some regularity, I could even forgo the RnRs during the extension (oh yeah, I think I’ll be here till the end of June).

The simple details of the trip, for it was a simple trip, are that we had a picnic lunch prepared by our wonderful chefs, supplemented by some local food supplied by our gracious hosts, and took it along, at the invitation of our Afghan host, to a day-house/picnic area on a mountain-side right above Charikar. Our host, the wonderful “The General” accompanied us to the location and stayed with us there for a couple of hours. "The General" was from Charikar and was the mujahidin commander there for years, allied with Massoud. The sun was strong and warm, and the air was thin and crisp, and not a whiff of diesel fumes. Luckily I brought plenty of cigarettes, lest my lungs get too used to clean air. Pictures are below.

Leaving Kabul...and the dust behind...

...and the convoy leaving us behind

The switchbacks up to the picnic spot, four walls of windows, and a great roof deck...

Being with "The General" meant we got more than the basic picnic spot, but even those were quite nice, even by first world standards.

Even the guards enjoyed the day, I hope...

More Photos of Charikar...

2006-03-11T17:19:00.000+04:30

One of my coworkers, the one from Colorado, decided to bound off, and up the hill (the house off below in the left corner...a few of us, not quite bounding, followed.

A guard was sent in chase, after the first coworker, he would run up a bit, stop and look back at me with an exasperated smile, and with a side-to-side nod of the head take off again.

There were some locals enjoying the view, and others like the above, carrying big bundles of sticks across the mountains. But they were merely walking across the face of the mountain...amatures...

The spring carved from the face of the mountain. A pipe from this snaked down the face to the house we were at below.

I did learn that being short and squat helps in getting down mountains quickly...but it wasn't polite to those behind...

Came back down to find this, but at some point, we all ended up taking a nap during the day, so it wasn't really that different than any other work day...

And most thankfully, I got the required "Old Man on Donkey" photo on the way back.

And there was the hazy Kabul at the base of the valley below.

The Promise Kept...Kinda

2006-03-09T01:04:00.000+04:30

Much going on at work...no time to post, plus I got sick again, and I’ve had nothing interesting to say, and that has finally stopped me from posting, except for the following that is. But there is an interesting discussion going on at Elizabeth’s blog on what/who is an ‘aid worker.’ OK, so no one but a bunch of navel-gazing expats care about such things. But, I’ve never claimed such nobility. I make too much money and live in way to good of a house, and have too many people looking after me to be considered noble. To further the argument that my life is way too good, I’m posting some more pictures from Goa. These ones were stolen from VP. And on recent events, there have been a few happenings here, but I wont rehash the news except to say that during Bush’s four hour visit the extra helicopters circling above Kabul were really bothersome. I mean, “rebuilding a nation,” “securing our future,” “the war on terrorism,” and “spreading democracy” only get 4 hours? Four hours? More importantly, tomorrow is our contract close out party. And I may get out of Kabul on Friday for a picnic in the country-side, there will be pictures of that. Ok, pictures of Goa.

The path to the beach, the dude charged for the picture of his water-buffalo. I shoulda asked for a glass of milk at least...

The Latin Quarter in Panjim/Panaji, where then Panjim Inn is located.

Some empty beaches in Goa, forget the name of the city...I can find it if you need.

Me drooling over the impending pan, and it only got worse once I shoved it in my cheek...the drooling that is.

A sunset in Bogmalo...I guess the trip wasn't too bad...

Hastiness and Hope

2006-03-01T13:24:00.000+04:30

Both only seem to bring disappointment to my life.

First, so much for this administration laying the groundwork and forging a strong, long-term policy for this area. By the way, does anyone know what India’s capabilities are for enriching uranium? Given how much uranium is littered across and under Afghanistan, how come not too many people are talking about this with regards to long-term policy? It’s not like it’s unknown how much uranium is in the area. But the Slate.com article didn’t bring much hope today.

And as for hastiness, I think I’m gonna have to figure out a way around our new inventory control list for DHL packages. If I was only more patient with getting the books. Though I’m sure the new Apple hi-fi, isn’t as glorious as it purports to be, my skepticism largely coming from a box that small and self-contained being able to create a good soundstage. It’s just about the ideal solution (size, assumed quality, and price) for high quality audio when stuck temporarily in a compound in the third world. It’ll surely beat my $10, locally acquired, Altec Lansing speakers. So any suggestions on how audiophile equipment will help build capacity, develop gov’t institutions and encourage democratic civil society? Buzzwords people, buzzwords. Those are the terms in which I’ll describe it on the DHL inventory list.

**And then there was this article in Wednesday morning's WaPo. Bush is coming to Kabul in two or so days, I believe. Despite the recent announcement of pulling out troops from the south, hopefully he'll make some productive commitment to this country. Wait, what was that line I typed at the top of the post? Maybe if I get the iPodHiFi and crank it up, I wont hear the IEDs going off down the street.

The Costs of Luxury

2006-02-28T22:57:00.000+04:30

I’m quite relieved. Finally, I’m getting a few pangs of homesickness. I’m not miserable, especially as the homesickness is more likely travel envy. A few of the coworkers are finalizing their plans to go home. I’m still in limbo (more on that when I actually have more on that, in the mean time I’ll just curse bureaucracy as I flit around purgatory).

This post is largely cause I haven’t posted in a while. Not much to write about as I’ve been quite busy at work, and it’s all editing and reviewing reports, so I’m quite reluctant to jump back on the keyboard in the evenings.

But there have been a few things I’ve wanted to throw up on here, pertaining to a lot of the less personal aspects about life here. For starters, while in India I had a few chats about ’47 and the separation. So a sample size of 2 is way below that required to be statistically sound, but it seems like folks there are a lot more open to even discussing the topic, and hypothetical reunification. Folks there, in India, compared to folks in Pakistan. How that is relevant to Afghanistan is probably fairly obvious, in that everything that happened over the past 50 years would have been dramatically different. But more importantly, it touches into the current plays of power going on in this region. India, it seems, recognizes the obvious necessity of stabilizing Afghanistan to help their own national security interests, at least while Kashmir is still the tipping point here.

Pakistan, realizes this two, but not so much for the same reasons, i.e. not external threats, but internal threats to the ruling/entrenched elite. This country, and the NWFP is the dumping ground, and keeping this country in turmoil provides some distraction to the black hatters. When the costs will become too high, even for those in the gated houses of Lahore, maybe things will change. Well, so much for a post on that...except for talking about how the current US administration still isn’t doing what it needs to do to truly help stabilize this area. What that would be, I have no good suggestions. But hopefully Bush in India will help. Though I fear that the US will still try to keep India at a certain arms length and not let them dominate this region.

The other topic was what the US will be doing here if things in Iraq really do go down the drain. Lord have mercy. When the cartoon protests were going on, our security chief was worried that things here could really explode and emergency evacuations would be necessary. I, as respectfully as possible, as he carries a sidearm at all times, told him that was absurd. I fear that what is going on in Iraq may actually have some spillover here though, and the emergency actions may be necessary. I think I may finally register to vote, that is if Buchanan is in the next running, and he promises to throw up big razor wire fences along the US borders and sells off Alaska and Hawaii.

I may be getting some more pictures of the trip to Goa from VP shortly. I’ll throw those up as soon as I get them.

P.S. I got the two books mentioned here a few weeks ago. I’ll be finishing up the current read soon. So if anyone wants to do a discussion group for Negri’s “Empire,” tell me. And a confession regarding that: it seems like the folks I work for weren’t too happy about DHLing two books and a few chocolate bars half way across the world. (Though, those chocolate bars were really appreciated by my office-mates and I...thank you A, and J.) They imposed a new “inventory control” system. My officemates blame me, though one person in the home office reassured me that the new policy wasn’t my fault. It may be true, but I sure didn’t help. So if anyone else was thinking of sending me (not so needed luxury) stuff via an exorbitantly expensive shipping means, forget it.

Vegas in Goa, and Learning How to Not Crash Weddings

2006-02-21T22:57:00.000+04:30

I’m not really one for pictures. After four months in Germany—living, working, and traveling almost every other weekend, I had only finished off one roll of film, most of which were of co-workers. And across several road trips, one being cross country, my record was even worse. This time on my camera I took with me to Goa I found only 6 new photos, 5 of which are of rusty barges, and not much dissimilar than the two below.

So, as I said before, it was a wonderful time. Two nights in transit through Delhi, of which I saw very little because of flight schedules and five nights in Goa at 3 different spots. Not exactly what I was looking for, objective one being to just chill, but I did want to see some of the state too. Panaji, was quite fun. Stayed at the Panjim Inn. A quite charming hotel located in the old latin quarter of the city, wonderful management, beautifully restored buildings, and a quite good restaurant with a large patio.

Then we were off to Bogmalo beach. Disappointing in then end, but we went to the restaurant of a fairly nice beachfront hotel. We had a fairly good meal, overpriced of course, but a price worth paying. See, there was what would, or rather should be, the winner of the Desi Idol. We were serenaded to a vast array of pre-90s hits, everything from Elvis to UB40 (‘Red Red Wine being my request, and the song we exited too). See this guy loved Elvis, and country, but he sang anything from a list of at least 200 songs. Except almost every song was sung as an Elvis impersonator in Vegas would, including “No Woman, No Cry” and “Obladi Oblada” (which sufficed, but I wanted to hear “Yellow Submarine” which is a great beachside song, especially if sung in Elvis voice). The singer took more to the women I was with (VP and her friend), which was not surprising. This meant that, rather than more Beatles, we were subjected to three Robbie Williams songs.

The next night was in a weird Disneyland-esque (i.e. completely fabricated, think the International Food Court) hippy paradise. The place did have its appeal though, and luckily we weren’t there long enough to see it wear off. The final night was at a wonderful BnB along the 23km long beach, Casa Ligorio. Again, highly recommended. The beach was long, and thus quiet. The water was warm. And that night, we lucked upon a wedding at the restaurant we chose for dinner. Two Brit-Desis, one Punjabi the other Gujrati. A small wedding, and wonderfully welcoming and gracious families on both sides. I talked with the mother of the bride, the uncle of the groom and a few others. We closed out the wedding in true imposing guest form (only two tables, mens table w/ drinks and female table without, all just family and us). But my membership in the Punjabi brotherhood (the table of mainly grooms family) was sealed when the grooms younger brother called me out for drinking Bacardi neat (said in his brit accent to boot.) Quite a night, and in the end, couldn’t ask for a better ending to a wonderful trip.

Oh yeah, N-Mode, here is a photo off the web of the “motorcycle” I (not so legally) rented. At least it was a Bajaj, so I got a true taste of Indian transpo. The second photo me, in the middle, leading my thuggee crew while crooning and gyrating women in saris were lining the streets dancing in unison to an M. Rafi classic.

The Warming Trend

2006-02-18T23:35:00.000+04:30

So I’ve safely made my bittersweet return to the Kabubble. I’m back in the swing of things, already. Got back on Thursday and just chilled and unpacked and started catching up. Friday was another day off, and had a staff meeting at 8am on Saturday. At the meeting the Chief thanked and apologized to our staff and few guests for the early morning meeting.

Specifically he acknowledged the difficulty of the early morning meetings, naming me in particular. Though the irony would have been priceless, luckily I wasn’t nodding off at that point (2 minutes after a fresh dose of nicotine) and politely smirked and nodded my head in appreciation for the acknowledgment of my personal suffering and steadfastness.

The meeting was an overview of a project some of us had been working on for the past couple of months. I had been floating in and out of it, assisting here and there. Sadly it’s part of our wrap-up for our work here. Even more sadly was that I finally see, or rather clearly appreciate, all that we are doing here and how it all fits in. I don’t think I was the only one to appreciate this, the scope and the necessity of the work.

It was bittersweet leaving the warm beaches of Goa. It will be dramatically more bittersweet leaving the many warm faces here in Kabul.

Not a AK-47 in sight for miles...

2006-02-11T19:53:00.000+04:30

So VP and I rented a motorcycle and a scooter and went up to Old Goa, and Dona Paula (on the ocean)...and some other places cause I kept getting lost.

GO(a) #2

2006-02-09T09:40:00.000+04:30

Off to try again...a quick update will be disappointing news.

No update may be good news or bad news...but i'll try to update either way.

American Cigarettes...

2006-02-07T16:27:00.000+04:30

...the silver lining of 3 hours spent scrambling to, around and from the airport. Three hours wasn’t that bad, but I was the cause of 7 men missing lunch.

So I’m still here in Kabul. Hoping is a fool's game. I got to see some back roads while avoiding the protests. The NGOs and the UN and other organizations are starting to scramble, even issuing warnings to prepare for evacuation and such. Not looking to good for getting out of town for some RnR.

Though, you know, once all this passes, and I’m out on the beach, it will be all that much more appreciated. And I’ll have American Camels to smoke.

It’s not quite Camel Wides Lights, but that’s a cowboy’s cigarette anyway...

Cowboy Karma

2006-02-07T00:26:00.000+04:30

I’ve mentioned some of the minor inconveniences of getting around and doing the simple things in life. It’s part of the daily life here, the confinement, the restrictions, the patronizing-like attitude by superiors...all of which are necessary and, in my better moments, appreciated.

That said; my misanthropy is in full gear. I’m trying to keep it at just that and not direct it towards specific persons that have thrown up some hurdles for me in getting out of town. As I’ve said before, I’m off to India—two nights in Delhi (in transit), and a few nights in Goa. I’ll get there eventually, that’s for sure...well I hope. I especially hope I’m there on Tuesday afternoon. See I was originally booked for the flight on Thursday. But this little conflagration over some comics escalating (I was going to do a post about that, but I care more about beaches right now than Muslim political culture), compounded with the Shi’a holiday where they self-flagellate (and the violence that erupted in Iraq on that day) this Thursday, my scheduled flight out is a no go for me. We’re on lockdown, our security personnel being quite precautious.

In a recent post VP has started writing a taxonomy of aid and development workers. Though I most squarely fall in the "mercenary" category, given my salary as a private sector contractor, I suggested another category for a lot of the "mercenaries" here, that of Cowboy. It’s not that I’m here just for the money and career advancement, it’s partly the wanderlust, the recklessness of it all, being in a post-conflict zone, etc, etc.

That attitude, that is somewhat common here, especially among the literal mercenaries, is part of the reason I pushed for this opportunity. It also explains my brazen and cavalier attitude towards the above-mentioned aspects of life here. You know: trivial difficulties don’t phase me—I got a job to do dammit—bombs going off, grenades being tossed, kidnappings, beheadings...eh—I’m off to sleep, wake me when the day begins. That attitude.

So it’s come to bite me in the ass now. I’m guessing its karma for my hubris (though I cant have, nor claim that much hubris. I’m no soldier, nor literal mercenary, nor a national who travels around with out a shooter and armed escort vehicle. Thank you security folks.) So rather, my karma is probably coming from my dismissive attitude, and my unjustly adopting the cowboy attitude.

I’m off to the airport on Tuesday. I’ve been remiss in posting. I’ll be even more remiss in the coming days, hopefully. Oh I hope I get on that flight...

Desi Critics Launch

2006-01-29T01:10:00.000+04:30

I'm a few days behind the curve. I'll attribute that to the odd half hour someone decided to add to the Kabul timezone. But DesiCritics.org has launched.

It's grown quite big before birth and came out of labor screaming and annoucing it's presence to the world. My contribution to the cacophony is the post below. It should go up on the desicritics.org site sometime soon. But don't wait for it. Go check out the site now. There will also be a link in the sidebar under "Other."

Oh, and the website...so, as was explained in the comments before, "desi" is a term often used by second generation south asians to refer to themselves and other of the sub-continent. In urdu, and presumably in hindi as well, it refers to the "homeland" or "country-side." Now reclaimed, primarily by the diaspora and the 20-30 year old generation, to refer to all South Asians.

The website...right...It's modeled off of, well birthed by the folks who created Blogcritics.org. A few of the fine folks there put a lot of hard work into this spin-off. The website will follow the same format as it's parent, but with an exclusive focus on all things South Asian. The contributors are south asian bloggers, diaspora bloggers, or those simply interested in South Asia. Go enjoy.

One Giant Robot—The “Muslim World,” India, and Albert Brooks

2006-01-29T00:59:00.000+04:30

One could be gracious and give the benefit of the doubt to Albert Brooks and those involved in his most recent film. One may assume that the title of the film, “Looking for Humor in the Muslim World,” is itself meant as a joke on the western perceptions of the named region. I’m not too gracious. And in seeing how the movie has be promoted in the weeks coming up to the recent release, and how the trailer itself promoted the film, I feel somewhat justified. The opposing stance, is that this film, set in a country that is predominantly Hindu but has a sizable Muslim population, and cultural influence from Arabic Muslim culture, is meant to broaden the outlook of the American populace. Show the masses that the term so often tossed around these days, is often misleading, if not harmful.

This is an appropriate place for a significant qualifier: I have yet to see the film, and probably wont, given that except for a poor bootleg, it wont be reaching Kabul anytime soon.

So for the past several weeks, I’ve been subjected to a flood of promotion for the film on quite a few websites such as Slate.com and Salon.com and other similarly leaning ones. Something about it bothered me, and I decided to write on just how the film is being promoted. As always, what we take away is heavily dependant on what we bring in. Further, I wouldn’t be surprised if the total amount of time I had seen the ads for the film was equivalent to the length of the film. Also, it’s fairly certain that significantly more people have seen the promotion of this film than will actually go see it. That’s my rationalization for writing on the cultural significance of a film that is meant to be culturally significant.

The film is set primarily in India with a small portion set in Pakistan. The first clip, shown upon loading the film’s website, is a joke where the punch line is a play on the words ‘Gandhi’ and “candy” (said in English with a mock Indian accent). Yes, Gandhi is significant to the ostensible “Muslim world”, the sub-conti’s independence and the ’47 split and all. But I’m guessing a joke about Jinnah would have bombed in both India, Pakistan and most importantly, in the U.S. As equally a joke about Gamal Nasser, Abdul Qassim, or Sukarno would have failed. But we westerners know Ghandi.

The film’s website also includes an interview with Brooks. In it, Brooks states that the motivation for the film was to make a comedy looking at contemporary issues post-9/11. In answering what his inspiration for the film was, he says, “...this was the 700-lb. gorilla sitting in my comedy office saying, ‘deal with this, find a way.’” I’ll take that as a noble intention, and a good route for dealing with some aspects and issues of our post-9/11 state. After that we get some crap about inter-cultural understanding and comedy and such. It isn’t till the sixth question that the fact that the film was shot in India comes to light. The question and answer only address the difficulties of filming in India, and mind you, I believe India produces more films than any other country in the world.

In the next question, Brooks talks about approaching an Imam to get permission to film inside the mosque. Here Brooks makes note that he is Jewish, and that he doesn’t “think that there’s been 15 Jewish people in that mosque ever.” That may very well be true, it is India after all, and though I don’t know for sure, I don’t think there is a notable Jewish population in India. There is, however, a notable Hindu and Sikh population in India, these religious populations being the focus of Muslim extremism and intolerance in the sub-continent. And I’m sure that more than 15 people of those religions have entered the mosque. It is here that I most start to doubt Brooks himself, and how he views his film’s message and assumptions.

I would have been willing excuse Brooks and attribute the film promotion and message to the studio were it not naïve statements like the above. Carrying the stereotype of Arab intolerance of Jews to India, placing it upon the Muslims there and more detrimentally the entire population of India, and making himself a martyr for entering a mosque there is a bit much. And in gaining the Imam’s approval, Brooks says of himself, “...so I felt like a diplomat for two minutes.” I greatly hope U.S. diplomats in India have a better understanding the nation than Brooks does.

Two questions further, we have Brooks deftly dodging a question on his understanding of the “Muslim world” upon leaving India. Rather than saying that he has a limitedly furthered understanding of the “Muslim world” upon leaving a country with a Muslim minority, which would in part acknowledge the fundamental flaw of the film, he basically says comedians aren’t as useful as anthropologists at understanding cultures. Self-deprecation, one Brooks’ trademarks, with a joke about the mistake he made in choosing India as being representative of the “Muslim world” would have been used brilliantly here, and made a significant cultural point. Especially as Brooks, a bit further on, acknowledges that his character is the buffoon of the movie. He states this in a question on how the film would be received in the “Muslim World.” This only furthers my assumption that Brooks deserves no benefit of the doubt.

In the final question of the interview, Brooks says it “would be the greatest thing” if the film were to play in India or to a Muslim audience. This because, “America needs to kick itself in the butt a little bit so these people see that we’re human...not this giant robot that’s going to kill them...”

Brooks too needs to kick himself in the butt, a hard and swift kick for coming out of one of the most religiously diverse countries, one that is predominantly non-Muslim, and not having realized this. Brooks needs to kick himself again for promoting a film with many images of Brown skinned South-Asians, who probably have no affiliation with Islam under the title “Muslim World.” Brooks needs to kick himself once more for making a film with images of Sikhs in turbans under the idiom “Muslim world.” (Haven’t the Sikhs in America suffered enough because of this type of idiocy already?) Brooks needs to kick himself until he sees that brown skinned people, the people of the Middle East, the people of South Asia, and Asia in general are “not this giant robot” named the “Muslim World.” Perhaps then I would be a bit more gracious to Brooks.

The World Spins Too Quick...

2006-01-23T13:20:00.000+04:30

I woke up this morning, having put up that past post a mere few hours before, and started skimming the news. Right there in Slate’s Today’s Papers, in the first sentence of the column a WaPo article on U.S. aid for Palestinian territories is mentioned. For those not familiar, TP summarizes the major US papers and provides a bit of commentary.

Further down is a link to the article and a discussion of it.

I wont rehash what is discussed there since I’m not going to add anything new. Except to say, that looks like that bureaucratic streamlining is happening a lot quicker. Though these sorts of diplomatically motivated aid efforts aren’t that new (i.e. the recently outed “press program” in Iraq with the paid articles, and VoA), I’m guessing they are going to be less and less clandestine.

“Been Smoking Too Long”

2006-01-23T00:49:00.000+04:30

Though Nick Drake was obviously not talking about tobacco with the above titled song, the point remains. The point in particular here, as the title should be adjusted to “Been Smoking Too Much,” is that I smoke a lot more either when I’m quite happy and relaxed or the opposite. I know, I pretty much smoke all the time, and being in expat land hasn’t helped, especially when the expat land has cheap cigarettes, but I smoke more (yes, yes dear friends, it is possible...) when on either side of the emotional range.

I’ve been smoking more since I got here, but relative to that, I’ve been smoking less as of late. And since everything is relative, that’s a good thing. Sure, it’s getting colder too, but that’s not the real reason. No, no, not at all.

So despite me loving “winter” as a concept, it’s usually my worst season. It does, after all, cramp my smoking style. I think I love it because it lets me fully revel in my misanthropic side...ok, so it’s not so much a side, so rather the other seasons have a lot more “counterarguments” to my misanthropy.

Despite my nature, I’m quite happy these days. I think I’ve fully settled into life here. And moreover, am starting to really enjoy life here. It’s gone from being routine in the blasé sense to routine in the normality, with usual ups and downs, sense. That’s good I think. Really good, actually, given the circumstances that I’m living under here in Kabubble. Partly, work is good and interesting, and I’m learning a lot of what I was hoping to come here and learn. Partly, I’m getting along with my housemates really well and enjoy their company. More than partly, things are really good outside of work/home, and that is especially good...and necessary.

Also I’m planning an RnR to Goa soon. I really hope that hits no hiccups because I’m really looking forward to it, and despite what I’ve said above, I could really use it. The sentiments expressed above are surely tied into the upcoming RnR too.

Though outside my comfortable world here in the Kabubble, things seem to be all mixed up, as usual. What makes it different, now, is it has some indirect if not direct impact on what I’m doing here. There have been quite a few news reports based on US Gov’t and other Gov’t statements that things are going stellar here. VP is much better about blogging on such, so I recommend hitting her site up for more reading on that.

So the news has been on the down side. On the up side, I’m in pure bliss. Despite my recent avowal of my fanboydom of The National, it’s been put in check recently. Of course, it would take a mighty mighty band to do such a thing, after all, The National is that good. So it’s one of the failsafes, one of the bands that will always be in the top five. Built To Spill has put out new music. Now Pitchfork.com has been teasing us poor souls by talking about the new album for over a year. It’s been a painful year. Partly the reason I came to Kabul was because I had given up all hope of BTS doing a new tour. I would have stayed back for that. I’m thinking of coming back for that, or rather when I see the tour dates and there is the usual 2 day stint at the 9:30, I’m gonna be very very homesick. You can hear the streaming version of the new song at their myspace site. It is glorious. Pure bliss. I’m so going to miss not being able to see this tour, especially cause it may rival the tour that had them at the Black Cat: 4 guitarists on stage at once, the typical incredible live adaptations of their songs, pure sonic bliss. The album, well this song off the new album hints more towards “Perfect From Now On,” and Dough Martsch’s statements point that way. If you google the song title, “Goin’ Against Your Mind,” some mp3 versions of the song will pop up.

So come April 11th, when the album is released stateside, someone is hereby delegated (or sincerely begged and pleaded) to get me the album and ship it here. Please. Please???

PROVISO: These are my personal thoughts and views, and do not reflect who I work for or am contracted to. I retain full responsibility for them and in no way are they anyone’s buy my own views and thoughts. (As a graduate of law school, I should be able to come up with a better disclaimer than that, no? And sorry for doing that as it’s obvious, but I felt it was more necessary with the topic discussed below.)

Also, there was a “major” announcement from the U.S. Gov’t on the 19th. VP, again on top of things, pointed it out to me. Though rumors had been floating about the impending shift for about a month, and the topic had already been discussed and was seen as nearly inevitable. Nonetheless, it was finally announced that U.S. AID was being brought under the State Department. Not directly mind you, but more than effectively. A new executive position has been created, and I forget the actual title, but the position is equivalent to a Deputy Secretary of State. I’m guessing here that it’s effectively ‘Deputy Secretary of State for Foreign Aid.” This is all in the name of Bush’s “Transformational Diplomacy” efforts. So now Randall Tobias will be both the head of U.S. AID and hold the new State Dep’t position. (More on him later.)

Side-note: how big was this in the news stateside??? Based upon Google News, it doesn’t seem like it was heavily or even briefly covered. Most the papers seemed to have back-paged it. Is that true?

Though there was some news coverage (most of the articles I haven’t read yet):

CBS News: Their headline seemed to point in the opposite direction that I’m taking this as going in. The headline saying “Rice Seeks To Transform Diplomacy.” Somehow I don’t think the U.S.’s diplomacy style is going to change as much in the next three years as their foreign aid policy will. Especially the foreign aid dealt out through U.S. AID, i.e. it’s more focused now on development and relief. Not tying weapons subsidies to diplomatic or executive whims.

A fair amount of the articles focus more on the streamlining of aid that is going to happen. Bureaucratically, that is probably a good thing. But with streamlining, of course, comes a sharper focus. So the inevitable question is what is going to get cut. I think my guesses on this matter are clear. This all is yet to be played out. I’m also guessing I’m in an interesting part of the world to see how it does play out.

So the new guy, Randall Tobais—only a few articles point out the storied side of his past. He is a former CEO in pharmaceutical industry. And see...that made him a very controversial post to head up Bush’s AIDS/HIV program and efforts in Africa. That whole controversy of big pharmo and their market specific pricing, and particulary the accusation sthat bigh pharmo keeping prices inflated for AIDS/HIV cocktails. Tobais picked up a lot of heat for putting so much effort into abstinence programs instead of actually getting his old buddies to do something about getting drugs on the ground. Basically, as is obvious, the claim is that he politicized AIDS/HIV programs. The general fear is that he’ll do the same with Int’l aid and development more particularly.

Either way, I think I still have my cushy life and well paid job here in Kabubble. Given how much I’m really enjoying myself here, I really hope this post doesn’t change that.

Scenesters--but not in a bad way.

2006-01-18T10:06:00.000+04:30

A good friend has just started a new blog. The first post was quite good. It looks like it will be a lot more interesting than mine. (Exceeding the readability of my blog is not a high enough bar to compliment someone on...and this is not to imply that I think my blog is particularly interesting...)

She and her friend will be writing about the nexus between dating and the D.C. arts/culture scene. The first post was about a visit to a gallery run by one of my former professors. I'm jealous already, but at least I'll get my culture vicariously.

There will of course be a link on the sidebar. So all three of you regular readers go visit it, here is a link to the blog:

http://dcartssceneandheard.blogspot.com/

The Chief and the Disclaimer Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Long Boring Post.

2006-01-15T23:27:00.000+04:30

The Chief came back this week. Though it was no vacation while everyone was gone, it was a respite of sorts. Everything was empty and slow, and I think I’ve said that before, 3 times at least. That’s a testament to how slow it was. I’m still stuck with the same thoughts. But that is, well has changed. As I said, the Chief is back, and with it, we are back in full swing. Rather than one or two things, I have several on my plate now. It’s good, I was getting a bit lethargic, and now I have something besides this blog to fill my insomniac section of the day.

Over the holidays I had enough free time to start getting involved in a new project, and even contacted the comrades at an old project to offer some help. We’ll see if I can follow through on that, though I should have the time. To further that follow-up, I’m even going public with my new commitments. This is a terrible mistake, but hopefully shame will keep me from going A.D.D. on this stuff.

This is all a self-serving post (but then again, narcissism kinda, you know, goes w/ blogging.) For the old project, as I’ve been keeping up w/ what they’ve been up to, I’ve been trying to figure out how to give them a plug. Then the NY Times magazine goes and publishes an article on the living wage movement in the U.S. A good article, of course, but lacking in certain regards.

On a preemptive side note...was at a dinner party at Vasco’s house the other night, stuck around a bit late, and had a conversation w/ her and her housemate. We were all taken aback at the fact that one of the NGO workers there freely admitted that she liked to tell strangers, especially when flying to a posting, that she was an aid worker because of the adulation they would give her. It’s perhaps natural, and I’m sure I’ve been guilty of such and will be in the future, but the unabashed pride bordered on self-righteousness. Us three than night seemed to agree that we all generally realize that we aren’t heroes (and would try to explain what the work was really like for those unfamiliar), there are, after all, many people doing this work. And I as a contract worker making more than enough of a salary and living a very pampered life am far from being a martyr. The same holds for the UN, World Bank, and many of the NGO workers. So having just recently just come off of a conversation about not patting one’s self on the back and seeking affirmation of oneself by bragging and such, I hope this post doesn’t come off as that.

Many of you all, of the D.C. folks, probably already know this. My introduction to the living wage movement was through my last year in law school. The main campus kids were doing a living wage campaign on campus, contacted me and asked that law students get involved and I ended tossing my hat in. The kids went on hunger strike, and 10 days later the school adopted what we claimed, at the time, to be the best living wage policy, officially called a “Just Employment Policy,” adopted by a University and likely one of the most progressive policies nationally. It’s likely that it is one of, if not the most progressive.

Some of the folks involved in the GU campaign went on to start the Living Wage Action Center. This group is first focusing on getting more campuses to launch living wage campaigns at their schools, and moreover provide support to campaigns already existing. It is probably already one of the quickest spreading student activist efforts in the U.S. The time was nigh, and the folks coming out of the GU campaign had a lot of valuable experience to share and pass on. Support them if you can, and of course, if you care to.

Back to the article. What is sorely lacking is some of the issues within the living wage movement. Yes, that wasn’t the theme of the article, nor probably of interest to most of the audience, but that was a major issue when we were organizing the campaign. (Key disclaimer, I jumped on board 2.5 years after the group started, and close to the end of the campaign.) One of the issues we had was that we didn’t just want a pay increase for the campus workers. We were looking for the school to change the framework in which it related to and dealt with its employees. The focus was on contracted workers (i.e not direct employees), as many of the local ordinances now focus on.

We wanted more than an increase in pay, which is what most of the local ordinances only deal with. That called for more than just boosting the pay. Though of course, that was the most explicit part of the policy and demands from the group. What was additional to that was a correct way to factor future wages, and include many other forms of compensation in a guaranteed wage package. Additionally, a guarantee of neutrality in union organizing efforts by workers, and measures to guarantee the job security and continuity of the contract workers if the university decided to make those positions internal employees. (There was more, and for those who care the link is above.) This was what we saw as what living wage should be, not only just more pay.

This is where the article and examples lack (and some of the internal issues arise). They don’t discuss that there are efforts to make the living wage movement much more than just about pay and cash. Though ACORN was supportive in our campaign, I believe they are focusing just on pay, and making “Living Wage” equal to “Pay Increase.” But we were in a much different environment that what the people in the article were/are in. We claimed the same moral issues, and had a Jesuit institution to leverage them on. We weren’t dealing with McDs. Nonetheless, I think it’s necessary to remember that a living wage can and should be much more than just about pay. Sadly, I think Georgetown had it right when they called it “Just Employment.” (Perhaps a new slogan, “Just Employment, not Just Pay”...though the word play may be a bit too much...) Though I don’t think that it would be politically expedient for the movement to start factionalizing, and that was our motivation in the group when we decided to stick with “Living Wage.” Either way, it’s simply encouraging and exciting to see the NY Times Magazine picking up the issue. I somewhat wish I was back in the States still working with the LWAC folks.

Ok, so the second effort is a group blog site. Desicritics.org is being launched as an off-shoot of Blogcritics.org. It’s an open forum that welcomes any and all bloggers that are some how tied into South Asia, i.e. they are or are concerned with ‘desi-s’ (or should it be desees??) . It’ll be launching at the end of this month, and since this post is long enough, I’ll post then, and when I actually start contributing to it.

Eid Mubarak & Slow Days

2006-01-10T13:49:00.000+04:30

So we've entered the week of high festivities here. And I'm pretty much going to be spending the week in my room and house. The majority, the vast majority of the local staff has the week off. Three days for Eid. The day before, a holiday called Arafat, something which I've never heard of, and now fell some necessity to learn about. And finally, the day after the 3-day Eid happens to be Juma (Friday), the usual day off.

So not much is getting done, despite us expats not having the day off. I decided to take a mental holiday, as it is Eid for me, and I'm used to at least celebrating the first day of Eid. Don't tell my boss that I've chosen to do this. Sadly, as work is my only entertainment, I'll likely end up doing some despite myself...or to spite myself.

Other recent happenings...I finally made it past one rite of passage. Got sick, stomach sick. It was eventually going to happen. Though I had gone a cumulative 3 months out of 4 in this part of the world with no major stomach problems. I was getting cocky. I have no idea what brought it on, and it was either just food poisoning or a 24 hour bug. Really nothing much, not the somewhat typical week of, um, difficulties. So all recovered now, ready to go eat more unsanitary food. Build up that tolerence.

I'm also trying to arrange for two books to arrive here for me soon. (Thank you J n A.) I know a few people discussed doing a reading club before I left, so if those people still want to, I'd love to do one for the two books I'll be reading next. No idea if you all are interested in these authors. And this invitation is open to anyone. The books are Empire and Multitudes by Antonio Negri, and that other co-author. I have no idea when i'll be getting these books or how to structure the reading group (our last attemp at one failed miserably, but thats what we get for choosing Quine.) Suggestions would be appreciated.

Eid Mubarak everyone.

“I’m put together beautifully...I’m a Festival, I’m a Parade”

2006-01-04T01:22:00.000+04:30

Before coming here, I was dreaming of a liberation—a scruffy beard and scraggly hair spilling over my ears and the back of my neck. I was going to go for that dusty nomadic international look, neo-hippie gap shopper, a fading flannel shirt that doesn’t evoke early ‘90s Seattle, corduroys faded at the knees and scuffed boots never once worn from or for hiking. Somewhere between art-punk anarchist and anti-globalization activist. At most, I was trying to make a break, crafting and indulging in a whole new fantasy. In the least, I was rationalizing this production with the oncoming and fabled Kabul winter.

This lede—a long obtuse one at that, was supposed to bring me to winter. The previous line works much better for that end. So: Winter is here, it snowed the past two days, finally. Rang in the new year with a new season, a second late for the former, a few weeks late for the latter. It’s not that windy, yet, the snow coming down small and wet and soft. It reminds me of D.C. this time of year, and has made me the most homesick yet. But the point was the beard—it’s impetus, my crafted image and my intentions. It’s keeping me a bit warmer.

By in large, crafted identities don’t factor here, at least the identities I’m used to, nor in a way that I’m used to. In fact, that is an incredibly brash and revealing statement. I’m sure crafted identities exist here, human nature...blah blah blah... More likely my Americanized hegemonic cultural imperialism doesn’t let me see them, the differences between the afghani that wears nikes and stonewashed jeans and the afghani that wears a Corduroy Cathart jacket and an NYPD baseball cap. That’s not unexpected. (I wonder if in general, because of our mass exporting of our culture, and complete vacuum of importing other’s mass culture, non-Americans have a remarkable advantage at reading and operating in American cultures and American’s with the inverted disadvantage.)

It’s not that this place is untouched by American/Western cultural tags. It’s just that they are heavily distorted and blended and misinterpreted and filtered and repackaged and so on and so on. This place, in particular, is probably inundated with a wider sampling of other cultural tags. Frequency Canceling vs. Fourier Transformations vs. Cultural Syncopation: The Mashup Release. Being inundated with it all around (and by this I mean being driven in an SUV with an armed guard), one starts to see and hear differently. But these two senses are far from yet developed. Maybe a few more months and a few thousand more interactions with Afghanis will help.

So I’m giving myself the benefit of the doubt, that this “effort,” this beard growing laziness was pragmatic...though it may be useless. Realizing that certain identities are intrinsically parochial. American/western identities, crafted through our overwhelming consumerism and materialism, are some of the most guilty transgressors. Beirut and Japan are probably up there too. But this is no plea for a “flat-world” or globalized harmony. Because in a few more weeks, I may be able to pass off for a full-fledged Taliban, my beard growing much more on the bottom, adopt an Afghani identity of my own. (And yes, some of these issues were touched on in the previous post, especially in the comments, as Elizabeth pointed out that religion was a topic I glaringly gave short shrift, if not overlooked. AND...this was supposed to be a light hearted post, quoted a song at the top and everything...by the way it’s a great song...more on music below.)

But there is Kabul and “Kabubble”, two distinct places. Kabul: the place where the plane I took here landed. The place I point to on a map and silently say “You are...h-e-r-e,” my eyes following concentric circles through surrounding cities I don’t and will likely never know. This is a separate place physically, culturally, and even most of all existentially. (Ugh...I hate to say that...existentialism...eh...dropping existentialism casually, I apologize. Moreover to say that just throws a glaring spotlight on how removed I am from this place while still “being here.”) Kabubble: Umm...see that past sentence. Ah, the compounded life.

This always happens. Whenever I’ve spent a more than a month a way from the confines and comforts of home, a home for the past 20 years, the comforts of the known. Whenever I’ve lived someplace without actually settling someplace new, without making that place home, this dispossession strikes, even in the U.S. (so much for that cultural hegemony). Like I said before, a few more months, and a few more interactions...

Learning to Post Better

2006-01-04T01:19:00.000+04:30

(Umm...preemptively, sorry KW. A shout out to all my ABBA loving friends first)

The music thing (as referenced in the above post), and reverting back to guilty American identities (as referenced in the above post). I made a concerted effort to buy less music this past year. I’ve been making up for that mistake in the past two months. To help catch up, and to continue an annual ritual, I’ve been perusing the year-end best of lists; a couple of agreements, a couple of finds. For quite a while, Spoon’s ‘Gimme Fiction’ was my shoo-in for the best rock album of the year (but that’s a bias), then I got over my anti-hype and picked up the Arcade Fire a year late (actually a 2004 album, but it was their amazing cover, released in 2005, of one of my all time favs, the Heads’ “This Must be the Place (Naïve Melody).” That made me buckle—David Byrne on vocals to boot.). It took a while, but eventually fell head over heals for them, they even got me to stop listening to “Clap Your Hands...”

Then I picked up The Wolf Parade....finally (my fanboydom of everything Isaac Brock would have made me pick it up immediately, one would think...btw, Mr. D.I. Mouth/Anon. Anon., I want that album back), that took the spot solid.

Until I found a new ‘new to me’ band. The National. Right up my alley. They’ll likely be ‘that band’ for me for quite a while. Got the free download off of salon.com recently, their best MP3s of 2005. Go get it, it’s free, the track is ‘All The Wine’, it’s where I pulled the title for the above post from. Immediately bought the album ‘Alligator’. They’ve been on constant rotation. And now I get the pleasure of back cataloging, I hope they hold up. This album album alone suffices though. So well orchestrated and composed, so well balanced, and a baritone voice. Adlibbing what one review said, Coldplay if they could convey emotion authentically, Stellastar* if they wrote better songs. And I’ll add Archers of Loaf if they were still together and Eric Bachman’s forays were forced through the band.

Others:

The Jaime Lidell album, though truly a modern album, will have me listening to soul & RnB again and may be my favorite for RnB, even giving Chocolate Genius Inc. a run for the money, despite my biases. For hip-hop, it was Common, then fully supplanted by Kanye, but I’m settling on Common. But for that genre, well rather, for emcees, my glaring absence for the year, eventually I’ll start listening to M.I.A., especially since I really enjoy Diplo’s solo work. And there are a few that albums that remain to be picked up, most obviously the new The New Pornographers and the new Okkerville River, and {insert name drop here}, and {insert name drop of something no one liked here, preferably Japanese avant-noise rock}.

Again: A shout-out to nights at the Folger Theater, bar trivia Tuesdays (and Fridays), and fake ABBA concerts.

Overlooking the Overseer

2005-12-30T22:52:00.000+04:30

The post is a bit disjointed--I apologize.

For those that won’t make it all the way through this post (I can’t even bother to edit/reread it): Happy New Year.

Despite a general slowness about the air here, it’s been hectic. All the expats, except myself and two others in my house remain. The other house is in similar straits. They aren’t necessarily dire, though a few other expats, and I have myself, complained about the loneliness and boredom. On the plus side, I’ve gotten to know my two other housemates much better. The two here are white south-africans (formerly of Rhodesia/Zimbabwe) who do security work for us. Quite interesting fellows, lotsa stories, only a few of which I’ve heard. Some I probably don’t want to hear. The politics and somewhat expected differences on colonialism and such would probably come to a head. Though we all know each other well enough to know our varying perspectives and politics and such have been discussed. It’s been those types of conversations that are most memorable, where differences are respected and discussed maturely, and we all enjoy having dinner with each other anyway. Given their involvement in colonialist structures and there interactions with me, I’ve bit my tongue a few times, well rather, decided not to probe them on their thoughts and sentiments too deeply.

But, they have definitely got me thinking about the “uncle-tom imperialism” topic again. One other recent development has pushed that issue to a head. I’ve had a fair amount of more responsibility here as I’m covering some critical & daily work for one of the expats on break. This has led me to dealing with a lot more locals and at a different level. The age issue is there to amplify everything too. Though I’m probably not that younger than many of the people working for me, and I’ve had people older than I reporting to me before, I feel like I’m treated as the boss in the overlord sense of the term.

On the flip side, I’m definitely treated differently by the local workers because of my ethnicity (though given how many afghanis don’t have a particular liking for the Pakistani government, I’m not sure it’s a good thing) and ability to speak in urdu with them. I find myself feeling like that buddy boss that one feels comfortable enough to go ask favors and pull string for oneself; a confidant type of role. I’m told things that probably wouldn’t be told to the white expats.

That is definitely a very difficult situation. The annoying part is that when I’m in one situation I wish I were in the other. And this I find true whichever of the two situations I find myself in. It’s not an issue of where my loyalties lay, as that is not a question, but I don’t want to exploit a trust, and I’ve been trying to encourage the locals to talk to the white expats/bosses. Whatever gets the job done most effectively and quickly is an easily stated common and shared goal.

I can put some blinders on and just say that’s all that there is to the matter, the common goal. But theory has ruined me. The power dynamics and structures, institutional and interpersonal greatly affect the path to the goal and the goal itself. The most cynical side of me says it’s a brilliant move by the western world to send the second gen back as “expats” to get the work done; probably quite effective, especially if blinders are put on. A more gracious, and serious, side of me thinks that using the second gen effectively to do such development work can make use of many tools that whites never could. (Sidenote: I think returning first gen immigrants are in a much different situation. Without thinking about it too much, despite whatever naturalization or citizenship they may currently possess, they aren’t the same as someone born in a donor/western country.)

Though I’m guessing that due to the current travails and dominance of liberalism in western/donor nations, and yes the world, it would be difficult to implement a positive/affirmative race/ethnicity based recruiting policy. Though for other sectors, such as for the FBI, CIA, Military and State Dept. the second generation muslims are currently heavily recruited. And logistically, it’s simply impossible for the amount of work that needs to be done here in Afghanistan.

This isn’t simply a white/non-white dynamic. I don’t think I’d be viewed much different than the whites were I in Africa or Guatemala. And, I would assume it is dramatically different for those first/second-generation immigrants returning to their “homelands.” I am fairly certain I would feel different about this were I working in Pakistan (even though this definitely brings up nationality/identity issues, especially in a post-colonial and neo-colonial context.)

I’d love to hear what other non-white minorities of western countries doing development & aid work think and feel about this issue. Especially those with much more experience in this field than I. Maybe another post or some comments? But of course, there is no race/ethnicity policy on commenting on my blog, all please chime in.

Peeling Off The Watchwords

2005-12-22T23:50:00.000+04:30

Just moments ago I promised a friend that I was trying to avoid meaningless posts. And I should really be ashamed, as Vasco and Elizabeth have put up a string of good posts, and subsequent discussions, on what’s going on here in Afghanistan with respect to development and aid. (And Ms. Daisy had a great post/discussion about Zionism/Israel/Palestine a few days back (I hope it’s ok to mention that here, as she did mention it in the comments). The National Lawyers Guild (of which she and I are/were members...i don’t get my dues reminders in Kabubble) has put a resolution condemning Zionism/Israel up for vote among the membership.) Topical, interesting, insightful posts.

But I was talking about promises. I had promised another friend that I was going to post a quote from an email she (KW, she even asked for a "shout out", so here it is) sent me recently. As is obvious on this blog, I’ve been doing a lot of posturing, if not straight out poseur-ing, lately. I’ve even been doing it on other blogs too. It’s wonderful to have friends willing to call you out on a moments notice and rein one back in. It’s invaluable, even, for people such as myself. So the priceless quote:

“Also, what is up with all this hipster street cred on your blog? Methinks you need to own up to the fact that you are friends with two extremely non-hipster, straight arrow, might-as-well-be republican (but we're not, I swear) white people whose idea of fun is an evening at the shakespeare theater, and whose last live concert was the fake Abba band at wolf trap. We deserve a shout out too.”

The sad part is, that had I been invited, I would have been right there at the fake Abba show, the ubiquitous* third wheel.

*Odd side-note: As I was making sure that ‘ubiquitous’ was in fact the right word choice, I mistakenly highlighted the “e” from the preceding word. The MS word dictionary returned the word “the dansant” (a diacritic over the ‘e’), defined as a tea dance. What a great fucking word! It’ll soon be overused. And Chris, as I heard you got the blog address and may now be reading this, I’m officially changing the name of “Le Ballet de Guy” (a diacritic over the ‘u’). “Le Dansant de Guy” from now on. Don’t fret, your coupon, if you ever find it, will be redeemable against it.

**AND Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays....everyone.

My Own Personal NGO

2005-12-17T23:29:00.000+04:30

I have a new, umm, crusade. The motivation for it came in a glaringly clear moment of insight into this country. The moment is really nothing to shocking, and really reflects much more on me than this country, especially in saying that most and normal people here are in the end, like most and normal people everywhere else. It’s pretentious, pedantic and highbrow fucks like me that really are the outliers. And, yes, thankfully.

I was chatting with my driver, apologizing for keeping him up a bit late the other night. We came up to the gate of our house, which is fairly high, solid steel, quite thick, and at 11pm is of course closed. The booth right inside the wall and gate is occupied, I believe, 24/7. So I was saying to the driver, out of guilt, that we’re probably waking up the gatekeeper, though I don’t know if that is a bad thing. In the least we woke up the house as the driver gave to love taps to the car horn.

Nonetheless, my driver reassured me that it was OK, and that we weren’t waking up the gatekeeper. He was clear about this, and I insisted on asking why. My driver informed me that minutes before, he was in the booth with the gatekeeper watching TV and that the gatekeeper was surely still awake as the show was not over. Curious to find out not only what TV they generally watched—I assuming all bollywood all the time, I wanted to find out what show kept the masses enthralled at this late of an hour. Curiosity hasn’t quite killed me yet, but more often than not it’s lead to some serious disappointments.

The show was “AfghaniStar.” Hearing that name gave me a good chuckle. Honestly, I absolutely love the name. I should have left it there, enjoyed that new little bit of trivia, and gone to bed. But I had to find out what the show actually was. The suspicions were up. I had to confirm that yes, the new imperialism, as we all know, is western entertainment. Simon Cowell has done what Alexander the Great couldn’t. Simon Cowell has done what Bush, with the most frightful military in man’s history, could never do. It seems Cowell has won the hearts and minds of the Afghani people, well at least some, and that pool being limited to those w/ TVs (which is probably a fair amount here). I’m guessing it’s not Cowell running the show here, though it would be spectacular if instead there was some Taliban like mullah on the show spitting out vile curses at the moral corruption of the afghani youth contestants. Humiliating the the contestants ability to sing and dance all the while. I imagine him sitting cross-legged, Holy Qu’ran in lap, rocking back and forth, never raising his gaze upon the lascivious women and men being paraded on stage, nodding his head while stroking his beard the whole time.

So the new crusade, my own personal j***d (umm...I wont use the word, eventually wanting to get back to the US and trying to not to get kicked out of the country too.) It really is about developing a civil society here, civil in every sense of the word. I’ll come up with a proposal, do some demographic studies, implementation assessments, impact studies, come up with a statement of work, and of course, terms of reference. I’ll establish an impact evaluation method and propose actual metrics to be measured and studied.

All this will be done for a program to bring a cultural element of critical cynical hipster to hip to be a hipster cadre in this society. “AfghaniStar,” I mean it is brilliant, the name that is, but really, now, this can’t be taken sitting down. If we’re going to have the best/worst of pop culture here, there must be the accompanying best/worst aficionados of mass culture—those, well us, snub-nosed, elitist mass culture critics. We avant-garde, we only who can truly appreciate the brilliance of “AfghaniStar” for what it truly is. This, obviously, with out ever watching a single episode.

So those of you in the NGO world, any ideas who I should hit up? Hell, I’ll start my own. I can probably get the French Gov’t to sponsor this. All my D.C. friends, a fund-raiser on 14th street or at Wonderland would be perfect.

But, to be utterly honest, I should confess that finding out “AfghaniStar” exists wasn’t the only motivation for this new found endeavor. This was also partly motivated because my “I’m so hip, I’m above the fray” attitude went somewhat unnoticed when a friend was saying they were going for an ‘emo’ look. I, of course, trying to employ a nonchalant condescending attitude, failed miserably. I desperately reverted to straight insults instead. Lucky for them, I didn’t drop band names on them, and insist that ‘emo’ died when SDRE (Sunny Day Real Estate, for you...you...people) broke up the first time.

Oh, you people.

A RiPOSTe to Rob...sorry, i couldn't help myself.

2005-12-13T01:00:00.000+04:30

So I’ve been getting out a bit more recently, moving between offices a lot more, meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Met a few more expats that aren’t coworkers, and that are within my generation to boot. Even did a bit of sightseeing, a thanks is due to my Chief for arranging it (we had some visitors in town and he had me hook up w/ them). I haven’t been posting. Apologies to the loyal readers, I haven’t been keeping my end of the bargain for work-hours distractions. But I have more photos to share, recompense I hope. Other than that, which has been a nice change of pace, work chugs along, my routine largely unchanged.

The majority of my coworkers are heading home for the holidays, so there is an excitement about the air, somewhat bittersweet, as I will be here for the holiday season (Christmas not being an issue, but New Years w/ dear old friends is always nice) and just not going home to see everyone. Though I miss family and friends dearly, I’m not really homesick. I’ve never been one to get really homesick, brief spurts at most. One of the few benefits of melancholic misanthropy is that one’s mood doesn’t change much no matter where one is.

Besides Kabul tourism, I’ve found a new pastime, a painful one, more painful than Kabul tourism at least. As many of you all know, I’m a poser music dork, and definite music hoarder. Though I left my collection at home, with no reasonable way to bring 500+ cds w/ me, I did bring my external drive. So as difficult as it is, twice I have deleted most of the music off the laptop HD and put on new music from the external. I then force myself to go through the music—album by album, full song by full song. I’ve reacquainted myself with a few old favorites: Gallon Drunk, James, Op Ivy, Mano Negra (oh how I used to love Mano). And I’ve found that I really enjoy some music that I’ve overlooked, i.e. Led Zeppelin and Elton John. Though, of course, I still listen to way too much Talking Heads and Police (why I never burnt and didn’t bring that boxed set, I will never know...i may have to ask someone to send it to me).

****Also after a 4-year gap, the new Chocolate Genius album was dropped a few weeks ago. Of course, I recommend it to everyone. If you don’t like it, you should learn to. You will learn to. Of course, I haven’t found a track on the album as good as “My Mom”, the album is stellar nonetheless. The RnB is all over the place again, but much more up-tempo this time. Most surprisingly, its not an hour of scratchy whispered drunken baritone ramblings about a miserable, woe ridden drug riddled life.

But the pictures, I promised pictures...it might go over two posts cause there are quite a few. A
flickr account may be impending.

This is the King's Tomb in Kabul. A Khan is buried here.

His father off on the peak of an adjoining hill a few hundred yards away. I get the names mixed up. I will learn them before I leave.

The hill is a kite-flying hotspot. Kite sellers line the large plaza in front of the tomb.

A hillside chocked full of mud brick houses and an old wall running up the crest of it. Generally when you get out of the city’s center and off some of the main roads where a lot of reconstruction has and is happening, you really start to get a picture of how badly this city was ravished by the fight for control of it.

There are more photos in the post below.

Recompense Redoubled, or Pictures Part Two

2005-12-13T00:38:00.000+04:30

Dar-ul-Aman Palace. Shot to hell.

Fenced off by the Canadian ISAF, a good thing, as it looks like parts could fall at any moment.

Though I don’t think it should be restored now, one day, hopefully the state here will allow for the money to be spent on it. It’d make a nice museum.
On the way back to our house, our tire blew out. A bit of a scary moment, here especially—the sound of it that is. The shooters in the tail car quickly poured out of their vehicle, and we changed the tire and went home.

My daily scenery here.

Everyone's already thought of everything...

2005-12-03T23:01:00.000+04:30

This post is a response to the first two comments, Shannon's and Andrew's, on the prior post. My reply became too long to post as a comment.

I’m not sure I made one critical point too clear on the bribe thing in the last post. What the PD meant was that his clients were only those who couldn't afford to pay a bribe, i.e. hire a "bag man", as they are known here, to pay off the judge. Though he condemns the practice, I’m sure, he didn't seem that contemptuous of the judges. I wanted to probe him on this, so I asked, after he stated his definition of a client, how the judges acted when they didn't get a bribe. He said that in those circumstances the judges often followed the law well. I took this as there not really being any retribution by the judge’s to those who couldn't pay a bribe, guilty or innocent.

But don’t forget, the judges are happy to supplement their low monthly incomes w/ bribes, from the guilty or innocent...well at that point, all are still innocent. The PD seemed to be accepting of the situation here, and he didn’t rail against the lack of ethics on the judge’s behalf. To me it seemed like he was pushing to help get more often than not completely innocent people released through capacity building, and training of aggressive, skillful and knowledgeable PDs. (He’s said that during his short time here he’s seen more innocent people charged than in his entire career as a PD in the U.S.) Overall, he seemed fairly pleased on the progress and situation here, given the context of poverty, lack of institutions, and years of war.

Shannon, he definitely shared your view that it wont be a quick path to functioning and reliable PD system. After all, ours in America, though better than most nations, is still far from where it should be.

Andrew, I agree w/ the first half of your first point, but can't agree with what I understood to be the sentiments and underpinnings of the latter half. Maybe I’m misreading your comment. I’ve been accused such before, and may be prone to that on this blog. I don't believe it's a matter of mental and moral preparation of civil society. That philosophy sends shrills up my back. It seems patronizing and reeks of patriarchy. For one, that sentiment is way too individualistic. I think Afghanistan is probably one of the best instances of where structural and institutional changes are vital, and moreover simple building of such is a place to start.

I don't believe that development work should ever be aimed at the mental or moral "development" of people. That is just way too complex and contentious. Hopefully our days of missionary zeal are done with.

Surely, you're right that we need to provide the resources fiscal, physical and mental. And surely you’re right that the ideology of the people is critical, after all, I believe only “good” ideology will make a functioning civil society stick. But the past 20 years, and history of this region can’t be ignored, and the present ideologies are likely formed out of much of the horrendous past 20 years many of these people have lived through. The acts of corruption remain wrong, and often inexcusable, especially the high level corruption.

But it’s not moral or mental “development” that will bring this nation to “democracy and civility”. And I don’t believe that most of the difficulties in development work here are rooted in “people...acting only on unmediated desire, violence, and instinct...” These people, though they surely exist here as they do in our blissful developed nations, won’t stop a functioning civil society from forming, if the basics of civil society are developed well here.

If the structure of society, from infrastructure to education, are developed here, better civil and individual ideologies, ones that support functioning civil society will come. Potable water, literacy and a warm place to sleep, not the locals’ mental or moral preparedness for democracy and civility, are the primary barriers to civil society here. You cant hope to “raise” or wait for the latter. The former is all I believe you should strive to do, the rest is in the Afghani’s hands.

As much of a poststructuralist I may personally be, structuralism is a lot easier to act on. The “Poststructural Structuralism Manifesto” is coming soon**. But, join the movement now! For only 4.99 receive your personal membership card and a subscription to our nontemporal annual non-union union printed 100% organic digital ‘zine.

**Dammit...i googled the term. And of course it’s already taken...

Moments of Clarity...Through Fogs of Diesel Fumes

2005-12-02T00:57:00.000+04:30

They keep on happening, moments of clarity, and they are truly appreciated here. One of the pristine moments happens daily. Right around 2 pm, as the post-lunch coma clears, and I’m done spending an hour of the workday reading the web and IMing. The sun directly above this elevated city seems to clear the fog, and somehow the diesel fumes aren’t as suffocating. The day is warmer at this hour, balmy this time of year. So I go make a cup of tea and pace around our office courtyard with a warm cup in one hand, a cigarette in the other. A moment—as I start to wake up and try to wrap my head around this mess.

Most of the time, despite life not being terribly hectic here, my head feels like it’s spinning. Partly this is due to the newness of this all—a new job, a new career field, a new technology, a new industry, a new country...new, new, new. I remember reading, on another aid worker’s blog from here, that Kabul and Afghanistan is ripe with contradictions. Not to say that the U.S. and developed world isn’t, we just hide our social and cultural contradictions so well. We mask them with a barrage of free press and ready information. We bury them with layers upon layers of transparency to the point where everything becomes opaque. Here contradictions are as clear as the midday sun from the surrounding peaks. Here it’s hard to be oblivious to the contradictions. This is especially true, I believe, while trying to do development work. The pace of the development and the state of things on the ground simply serve to add to the difficulty of navigating the contradictions.

Contradictions abound at every level from the trivial to the indefensible. After dinner today, while sitting on the couch in our well-heated TV room, I remarked to two of my colleagues that we were sitting there watching highlights of a South African table soccer tournament. We’re not oblivious, but we are completely removed from the world around us. Though that is quite saddening on its own, how removed we are at times, the pitiful part was that we left the channel on for a few minutes after we all acknowledged having reached a new level in idiot box watching. That was a new low in my life.

The indefensible level of the contradictions come mainly in the form of corruption and complications in doing work at the higher levels here; always inexcusable, but especially so in the context here. And it’s not just the Afghanis that are doing the fleecing here. The Americans, of course, operate at the opaque levels. I have no personal experience, but I do get to hear stories of ministers and companies and warlords and drug kingpins all playing the corruption scheme here.

I got a bit of insight into the newly re-fledgling justice system here. I met w/ a friend of a friend who is working here. (Got to go out to a nice French restaurant and have duck breast...Ok, nice by my readjusted standards.) He’s here working on developing the public defender system. Amazing work done by him and moreover the locals that actually are serving as the PDs. Much of the fatalism of Islamic culture flies in the face of the American ideals underpinning the PD system, i.e. everything is in God’s hands and if you’re innocent and executed by a toppled wall of bricks (that no longer happens here, officially as far as I know, w/ the Taliban removed from power), eh, you have paradise awaiting you. So don’t worry so much about this finite and temporal life we live. The moment of clarity on this front came during the conversation that night. My dinner companion said that his definition of a client here was someone who couldn’t afford to pay a bribe, no condescension in his voice. A few moments later, in somewhat of an adulatory tone, he said that the judges were really good about following the letter of the law and procedure, and that with that, they have a very high success rate, relatively speaking I believe. Moments of inspiration and hope abound here, side-by-side an acceptance of the situation and daunting circumstances. A contradiction in itself, yet contradictions and clarity seem to be twinned here.

There is a great article from WaPo, published two Sundays ago. The accompanying online chat (linked in the sidebar on the article’s webpage) briefly mentions the company and project I’m working on, complaining that an 8A company is ill equipped to do the work here. But as the article points out, a very large US company seems to be failing in simply putting up schools and clinics, not even staffing or running them. I’m not in the right position to decide the quality of work of the company I’m working for, my junior status and bias and all. But I do know that everything here seems difficult, slow and riddled with contradictions. My insight is nothing new or revelatory here. I know the same is true if you’re building a clinic or roads or an oil refinery in many parts of the world, let alone in the donor nations.

Here it seems, that no matter how or how much you grease the tracks, it doesn’t make a lick of difference. They were destroyed over the past 20 years, the tracks. They are all torn up, at best. Often, they aren’t even on the ground anymore.

Big Chicken

2005-11-27T22:49:00.000+04:30

That was the rough translation of the word ‘turkey’ in dari, at least as we non-speakers in the house figured. Part of the word sounded roughly like “murgh”, and that’s the word for ‘chicken’ in urdu, so it all sounded believable to me. My mom was surprised to hear that we had turkey for dinner. She had never seen a turkey when she was growing up in this part of the world. When I was telling my mom the dari word, she said the word for ‘peacock,’ that sounded much more like the word in dari, she suspects that is what we had for Thanksgiving.

Our Chief of Party (“Chief” from now own…and he deserves much thanks for arranging a great dinner, though of course our cooks deserve the most) and some of my housemates had difficulty in trying to explain what a turkey was to our cooks. The cooks, coyly, asking why we wanted to eat a Turkmen, and who was going to go to the border. Oddly, they didn’t ask how to cook a human. So two housemates went out shopping for turkeys, and they said they found them. All I saw was meat on a platter. Peacock, turkey, rooster or a big chicken…the meat on the platter was good.

Besides the lack of football, it was nearly picture perfect…all the fixins, ‘cept cranberry sauce.

Our cooks are wonderful, as I’ve said before. The pumpkin pie was amazing, that’s what being trained in a French bakery will do. I ate well.

I met the rest of the team. Once sedated, and satiated, we had some great conversations about our work and our takes on the state of affairs here…all the usual ex-pat/development topics: aid, corruption, colonialism, cultural communication, literacy, human nature, blah blah blah.

The next day I went to the Friday market at the Kabul Compound, watched U.S. soldiers get over charged, got overcharged myself, and walked away with a bunch of DVDs. Two out of 5 work, I felt like I made out pretty well. Much of the streets I get to see when driving around Kabul look like the same.

All fortified walls and razor wire, a booth out front and men with AKs.

Well, work goes on. The days are getting short. The snowcaps on the mountains are getting long. The next post will return to our regular scheduled profound-itry.

A happy belated thanksgiving to everyone. I hope you all had a good time.

Less navel-gazing…well as best as I can stop, at least…

2005-11-22T23:43:00.000+04:30

So someone asked for a real post, well rather they asked for a more “concrete” post, about what I’m doing and such. And another friend asked for me to do a “food blog/post.” I checked out a few, and they write about the actual cooking of food or recipes. We eat well. I do no cooking. We get a mix of what I’ll associate as south asian food and American food. Tonight, we had pot roast again. But the salad was lettuce and apples, with mayo. And the bread we get is bad white bread, know in urdu as “dhuble roti” or “dhuble toast,” or really good traditional afghani bread. So until I start getting in the kitchen and learn a few afghani dishes, there won’t be a food post, except for maybe on thanksgiving.

For the job stuff, it’s probably not that interesting for most…but, and perhaps sadly, I actually find it quite interesting. It’s more accurate to say that my day-to-day job is really not that exciting, but when is such ever? I am writing a report on the northern cities of Afghanistan, from an office in Kabul. I’m writing this report having never seen or been to more than what could be seen in an hour in Afghanistan. Despite my actually being here, I feel like I’m working ON Afghanistan rather than IN Afghanistan. Well, disregarding the fact that I hear Dari all day, and get to see the hills surrounding Kabul. So basically, I’m doing typical consultant work. I have years of experience at that kind of BSing.

In summary, I’m working under a US AID contract for infrastructure development in Afghanistan, energy development in particular. Stop reading here, I beg you.

But if you insist…my current project is a report the energy infrastructure of parts of the north of Afghanistan. Maybe one day I’ll actually see the area. Elizabeth, another aid worker here is actually up there and doing work IN that part of the country, and she has a picture up, so that satisfies the “new pictures” promise in my last post…I hope. So I’ve been doing a mix of number crunching, report writing and a lot of discussing.

As I said before, this is a new world for me, “world” being used in the figurative sense here. I am learning a ton about energy technology, and infrastructure development…it has been a head first dive. The forecasting part is quite interesting and quite surreal. I’ve worked on projects and toyed with numbers that directly affect people, but it’s always been in telecom, so it didn’t strike me as critical. It may have been, especially for the military projects, but it was always developing and deploying the latest and greatest. It was never in developing something I’ve always taken for granted, something I have always considered intrinsic, electricity. But all I’m really doing in this stuff is writing long reports in MS Word, far from actually building the infrastructure. We have other guys to do that…real engineers.

So, it’s a lot of modeling and forecasting and number crunching and planning and report writing and data collection and more report writing, some institutional development thrown in for flavor. Though I’ve only been at it for little over a week, that’s what I gather I’ll be doing for the next X months.

Here too, I promise, there wont be many, if any, more posts like this one. Hopefully the “so what are you doing?” questions will be less frequent, not that I’m complaining. And well, here’s a picture at the end of this post to boot. Another view off my roof deck.

Tech Lust and Uncle Tom Imperialism

2005-11-19T23:04:00.000+04:30

So I got my work laptop a few days ago. I still haven’t really switched over to it yet. 25 gigs of mp3s on my Mac keep from doing so. Once I switch my music over to my work laptop I’ll have my home laptop and my office laptop, located approximately a minute walk from each other. The utility of portability will be lost on me. Though, it’ll be good to separate my work life from my personal life as much as possible. Especially since every other circumstance I find myself in conspires against this (I had a meeting after tonight’s dinner with my house/workmate to discuss my current project). The point being, with two laptops at my disposal, both being quite nice, tech lust isn’t a state I should find myself in.

But on a smoke break, as I was walking around my office courtyard today I was peering through the office windows. I noticed that a lot of workmates, the locals on my team, have nicer laptops than me. Smaller, lighter, faster, newer…prettier, oh they are pretty, pretty little things. Half of them have flat screens, and nice big black Dell towers. Now I’m glad that our team is outfitted nicely, hell, I’ve been given a very nice laptop myself. But I was still lusting. And since there aren’t any…uhm, well, since there is little else occupying my lustful and leering gaze these days, computers get my full devotion.

So for more than a fleeting moment, I was wondering what they, the locals, my coworkers, were doing with nicer equipment than me. I was green, lusting. I was given my laptop in a hurry because one was not ready for me when I got here. It was someone else’s, cleaned up and given to me. My first suspicion was that the new one I was supposed to get was taken by the local IT staff, and I was given one of their older ones (some of the personal photos of an IT staff member and Grand Theft Auto 3 files in the recycle bin helped this suspicion). Now, this type of switch is not an unprecedented occurrence. IT departments the world over are often the best equipped departments in a company. The executives may come in a strong second. Every IT department at the companies I’ve worked for had the latest and greatest. Often enough, when the opportunity availed itself, I did the same myself. It’s how I got some of my best toys.

So then came the imperialism part. I, knowing all this, having done this myself, I was still a bit perturbed at the situation. Who were they, with the money “we” were pouring in, to take funds earmarked for us selfless and devoted development workers and get themselves damn nice laptops. We who are here to help them—their audacity…their ingratitude.

My prejudices against south-asian culture, holding it full of deception, scheming, corruption, and self-serving cheats came blazing through. Sadly, these views come largely inculcated by my parents, relatives and others sharing my background. Though, the biases and prejudices are not wholly unwarranted, as we all know, corruption is endemic in Pakistan and the sub-continent. I’ve been witness and victim of such acts, as many people who find themselves in this part of the world have been.

So here I was, coming to do development work, eyeing the locals with suspicion. Here I was, a second-generation American, brown skin and all, speaking Urdu with the locals, all chummy with them. Here I was, green-eyed, distrustful, disdainfully eyeing my coworkers. The self-righteousness was reproachable.

Here works in the Uncle Tom tip. Yes, this comes with another assumption on my part. After all just in the last post I was saying that I still feel quite a distance from the Afghanis. To many of them I am an American—simply, straight forward, no two ways about it. In too many ways they are correct. (The issue of American identity…a Pandora’s box not for this post…or even this blog perhaps) Bluntly speaking, they are correct. American as I am, I still felt like an Uncle Tom.

I condemning people I share a bond with for doing something I have done myself. I condemning because I am coming from a position of beneficence, a position of privilege, a redoubled privilege. I saw myself as not being the white man bestowing his cultured and civilized gifts upon the Himalayan barbarians. But, rather I the brown man, the prodigal son returned, helping his lost cousins find their way. I, Uncle Tom—imperialist extraordinaire.

Well…the next post will have pictures, I swear. I swear I have too much free time here. I’ll try to get out, post something interesting…

Proximity in Bombing

2005-11-17T22:54:00.000+04:30

Today marks my first week here. For reasons discussed plenty before, I still don’t really have a sense that I’m here in Kabul. I have seen very little of Kabul. Though last night, I did get to hear Kabul for the first time. Not chicken busses, screeching tires and lorries and taxis blaring horns for every conceivable sentiment. Those are the sounds of many places in this and other parts of the world. I heard something that I more closely associated, especially before coming here, with Kabul. I heard gunfire. My first reaction was the usual one, thinking it was simply an engine or diesel generator backfiring, or a tire blowing out on one of the many potholes on the local roads. After hearing the second shot, I suspected it was a handgun or other small firearm.

The subsequent few shots only served to change my suspicion into an assumption. Welcome to Kabul the gunmen seemed to be saying. I had spent that day listening to Califone (even bought another album of theirs off itunes...itunes will be a worthy diversion of my former commuting budget). The band seemed to suit my mood, the bluesy, sparse, post-apocalyptic americana. Single notes struck on the steel strings, drenched in reverb and timbre. Random dusty noises, a stripped down cacophony, and the singer with his raspy words sung in a whispered warble, how ‘trill’ would sound coming from a deep and barreled chest. I spent the day imagining myself stuck in the dusty old west. Only this country is still a land of guns, more or less lawless, gangs and warlords running rampant. Well, not as rampant as a few years ago, when the analogy was often thrown about. It’s a cliché now, call it the old west, call it the medieval days, but it still seems accurate. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent the day listening to Califone, my mind imagining that world.

This brings me to something else I wanted to write about, concerning the violence of the past few days, both here in Afghanistan and in Pakistan. The bombing on the other side of the city, as is often the case in our simulacra of lives, seems a bit removed coming through CNN. Though we were told the night of the explosion that the incident had occurred and that we were on “White City” status, movements being restricted and such. We were told at dinner and the table merely acknowledged the fact, and kept on eating. I wasn’t struck by the incident either, well either literally, thank god, or figuratively. I wasn’t really fazed, and I don’t think it was because of the dismissive attitude by my housemates. The violence here seemed as far away as it did for me when I was in the states. Ahh thank you Baudrillard.

But the bombing in Pakistan, I found that disconcerting. It was only a little over a month ago that I was sitting in the KFC in Lahore. My cousin took me there with his med school buddies. They had just completed one of their more difficult comprehensive exams, and it was still the first days of Ramazan, so KFC was running their all you can eat iftar. We tried to go to Pizza Hut buffet, but that having a 1-hour wait and the fast breaking in much less than that, we opted for KFC, somewhat disappointed. The place, of course, was filled with locals—natives, westernized Pakistanis, a family celebrating their little girl’s birthday, and quite a few who looked like they had just stepped off the bus from the Punjabi villages. I was likely the most American of the patrons there, and you couldn’t pick me from a native just looking at us. Proximity seems to be the key, the freshness of that memory. I could imagine easily what the crowd looked like in the KFC in Karachi, no different than ours that night in Lahore.

KFC as a symbol of the west, sure, but owned by a franchisor looking to cash in on the native population’s desire to eat “west” or entertain their occidental cousins, and the family celebrating their child’s birthday at an “American” restaurant, a special night out for their young daughter. All these patrons served, of course, by your typical service sector employees, low income, and in Pakistan, often ‘villagers’ with low to no education, who somehow managed to get to the city. I interacted with these people that night in Lahore. I was one of the cast members that night. I was proximate to these people. I am proximate, perhaps not physically, but on a certain tangent, to the victims of the KFC bombing in Karachi.

I am physically proximate to the ISAF soldiers that were killed in the bombing in Kabul. But on the human relation line, on the associational and emotional level, I am as far from them as I was when I was in the States. I may very well feel the same way if some Afghanis were to die in a bombing tomorrow. I felt the same way after 9/11, Madrid and London (barring the fact that I was deeply worried about my sister, nieces and her husband who live in London…but I still felt no closeness to the people, the victims or the incident).

My interactions here with the locals will hopefully let me feel some link, some association and proximity to them. I’ve probably had more interaction with our house staff than most of my housemates, my urdu coming in handy. But I still am far from feeling like a Kabuli, and even a proximity to the people of this city. That night in KFC, I wasn’t far from being a Lahori. That is as close as I’ve ever been to these types of incidents. I deeply hope that when I leave here, I leave with a sense of proximity to the people of Kabul.

I’m still listening to Califone as I write this. I’m going to pick something else to listen to. Archer Prewitt would be good.

There are no pictures here at the bottom tonight.

Existing and Time

2005-11-16T19:22:00.000+04:30

I’ve lost track of time, it’s less significant here. It takes me a moment to figure out how many days I’ve been here and it’s been less than a week. I’m not sure, but I think that’s a good thing. Coming out, I’m sure this will have seemed to have passed like the blink of an eye. It’s just that when in the midst of it all, usually the two end points seem so far away. Hopefully, that won’t be the case this time. And if this state continues course, it won’t be. On the flip side, I hope that doesn’t mean that I wont appreciate my time here, lose temporal sense and simply be moving between physical spaces when I return or move on.

When I was last in Pakistan, for a month, and a similar state struck and I had even less, well nothing, to do with my days, something about Urdu (a language of the sub-continent) struck me. The word for tomorrow and yesterday is the same—“ kaahl.” The same is true for ‘the day after’ or ‘the day before’—“persohwn.” It doesn’t lead to confusion, as the conjugation of the verb clarifies future or past tense, but still…I think it says something deeply about the culture. That there is no separate words for “the day after/before” in English, I not sure what to think. I am no Chomsky, so I don’t really know what this all means. But that hasn’t stopped me from making some overarching and convenient judgment about the culture and Urdu speaking people: they live for the day…the future, and past, are in God’s hands…a certain fatalism, where the past is on the same plane as the future...etc., etc...

Now I have no clue if Dari, Pushto, Punjabi, or the some countless other languages spoken in the region and sub-continent are similar. It’s likely that they aren’t. But, it seems, and this is a cursory and perhaps pernicious judgment, that the same is true here in Kabul.

But, what I think has really happened is that my life has already become routine. And that’s a good thing. No more romanticizing this whole endeavor. And the confinement of this life, expected as it was, helped in making routine come a lot quicker. I’ll have to figure out if I’m allowed to go out on my own a bit, or what the procedures are. I’ll get better pictures too.

I did promise to cut down on crap like the above, and so to counter the self-righteous crap in the last post (yes Katie, though you wouldn’t say, it was a bit over done), on to the perks. So I come back to my room in the evening to find my daily laundry done, neatly folded on my now made bed. At my desk I find my ashtray cleaned and the trash can emptied. I’ll walk downstairs to a well-cooked meal, having no dishes to do, merely placing my empty plate in the window between the kitchen and dining room. The cooks are quite good, as I mentioned before. Last night we had what can only be described as desi-mex. It was nachos, made out of the egg wrappers used for samosas, quite good. The salsa, though I didn’t mind, was more towards the desi-side than mex-side. Housemates complained…well rather noted that fact.

I don't have to worry about day-to-day things in life, the necessities, some may say. And so I’ve managed to re-enter the working world with out having to cut my umbilical cord. I’m happy. Twenty-eight years now, and all I’ve had to do, absent a few short stretches, is to plug it into different wombs. I dearly love everyone that works in this house. Not as much as I love my mom, but…

...at this point, I think I've resigned myself to every post being like this...Enjoy!...

So again, the pictures:

A daylight shot of the glitter house. Yes, the roof is a mosaic consisting mirrors...the whole "glitter" thing.

The street outside our house.

The outside of my office (the door in the back) with the glitter house in the background.

A bird struck our office window today. Seems like even they need modernizing…I know, I know, I’m sorry. And the bird was OK.

My desk and and my officemate, Dan.

For pictures...skip to the bottom...

2005-11-13T18:00:00.000+04:30

Morning, mid-day and afternoon coffee, and a few cigarettes interspersed between. On the other side of the world the working day has caught up with me. Today was the first real day on the job here. I woke up, shaved, took shower, grabbed my coffee, had some toast, checked my morning email, and then went to the office. Going to the office consisted of walking down stairs, out the main gate of the glitter house, walking 10 feet through the gate next door, and going to my desk in the back building. Going home is going to consist of the reverse. This is much nicer than the Metro and 66, though I don’t get to do my daily Su-Do-Ku.

It seems that my work here will consist of a mix of indirect applications of my engineering and law degrees. Though I’m aware it’s way to early to tell exactly. Yesterday I went to my first staff meeting, yes a Saturday…the first day of the 6-day workweek I am contracted to, and walked out a bit dazed. The daze was not a result of the meeting being at 8 am. Rather, there is a whole lot going on here, and hearing all of it in a little over an hour left my head whirring. When I realized we’re only working on energy development, the concept of “rebuilding a nation,” especially after over 20 years of war, started to dawn on me.

Granted, there are many veterans of the international development world for whom this is all old hat, a fact that is quite humbling…and somewhat saddening. Nonetheless, I find being here exciting on several levels. Though, the alternate being churning out patent applications probably helps to bolster that feeling. I’m sure the newness of all this adds to this feeling, and that with time the air of excitement and hope will simply become the dusty air of Kabul. But until that time comes, I’m going to relish this naiveté. I’ll enjoy the fact that I feel like I’m part of something significant, something bigger, and hopefully something lasting.

I think that motivation and the realistic sense of one's place in all this, is the only thing that helps with putting up with many of the difficulties of working here. For sure, there are plenty of rewards, but those I think soon become less significant as time away from home, family and friends extends. Last night we were taken out to dinner, the whole team, as a thank you from my boss for a job well done. I kinda felt bad tagging along as I’ve only been here for a few days, but I wasn’t about to refuse the invite. At the dinner I got to talk to my boss a lot. Sevearl times he reiterated the above point.

No, no, not the point that I was tagging along unjustifiably. Rather his point that the motivation for doing this was to do something, and if it can be bigger than yourself and your immediate needs, all the better. He reiterated the point that his contribution here will be forgotten, and it wasn’t with regret that he said that. As I took it, his was saying that legacy was not the point, but rather impact was. Those few that know what he is doing here will eventually forget, but hopefully what he’s done will last. In the end, even if it all falls apart—entropy…everything always falls apart--at least he’s done something beyond himself. Hopefully, as I get further along with this whole thing, as I get used to dusty, dry skin, cold wind and cabin fever, I’ll remember his point and be happy to have been a part of this too.

Ok, so I’ll try not to make future posts quite like this one…and did anyone actually make it this far? No, no, not you my lawyer friends, first/last line readers, skimming till you’re dizzy while still sitting still. Actually, I'll be embarassed if anyone actually read this...

Well here’s probably what you came looking for…pictures.

The glitter house, my home for the next _ months, at night.

Our front gate night guard, at the main entrance of the house.
A blurry picture of the house. I'll post a daytime picture soon, it'll clarify the name of the house.
The foyer and stairway up to my 3rd floor room.
Here is another view out of my room, the Old Kabul Fort, I believe, which dates back to the Mughal days, and which the Brits…well, we all know what happened to the Brits last time they were here. Hopefully they’ll leave Kabul Fort alone this time.

Clicking My Heels

2005-11-11T14:11:00.000+04:30

Economy seating and airport lounges...the typical complaints. In Frankfurt, I had to have just one last taste...though it had surely been more than 5 months since I had McD's, it was a matter of principle. Except for the bad euro-club pop music being piped in, it was perfect. The remains are shown below.

I stayed in a really nice hotel in Dubai, 4 level atrium to welcome the guests, 40 foot palm trees...indoors of course, ingratiating employees everywhere...quite fancy by my standards.

"Really nice" in Dubai means low end. Oil wealth changes standards I guess. So it will be polar opposites in 24 hours.

Countless hours of travel and I arrived. As others have noted, the wrecked and burnt out airplane welcomes you to Kabul. The steep descent into the airport is not welcoming. There were some people, Omar and others, to greet us (unknown to me till I got of the flight, two others working for AEAI came with me). They had me stand to the side while everything was taken care of. Not waiting in lines is always nice.

We got our luggage and were shuffled to the guest houses. I met with Jack, my boss, and my co-workers and housemates. I was given a brief introduction to what I will be doing (don't worry, excruciating and mundane details are sure to follow in future posts). Settled into my room, took a short nap, had dinner, we watched Lord of the Rings 2, and then I went to go battle jet-lag. Looks like it'll be a non-stop party, tonight I think we watch Lord of the Rings 3.

I'm living in the appropriately named "glitter house." Four levels of marble floors. My room is on the upper (3rd) floor, a large roof deck surrounds it, providing great views of the city. The view off the deck that greeted me last night, a simple reminder that this aint Kansas.

The same reminder was there in the morning. I gather this will be a constant reminder of where I am. I'm guessing it wont be the only one.

I changed the comments setting to allow anonymous posting. Enjoy.

Intentions...

2005-11-08T20:23:00.000+04:30

...wont answer how often I will update this site.

I'm off to Kabul today.

Thank you all who came out on Saturday (and especially Jad and Ashley for hosting), and everyone else who I've seen or talked to recently. I apologize to those who I couldn't see or talk to before heading out. I'll miss you all.